How to please everyone, when telling a tell all book!!!

No-one is ever pleased when your writing a tell it all book!  I am talking in truths, but it always ends up hurting someone.  People need to remember, this is about me, but it is also talking about a very serious disease and how to overcome, and my disease really hurts women the most!

So, after this disclaimer….please allow me to proceed…Although we have not gotten clearance from the publishing house to post your comments here, you may still do so by email to me or any other social media site. You are heard!  Although, I confess, I received over 100 emails since yesterdays blog I have not responded to all.  *Important reminder kids – as much as I appreciate the grammar advice, the actual book is in fact, ghostwritten!  So, maybe that already address’s the 100 emails and I am all caught up!  I will, but please keep in mind I am raising a 19 year old STILL and my fifteen year old so please have patience with me.  Google reported over 3,000 visitors since yesterday, and I am TRYING!  I would like to THANK about.ME for making me a staff pick in March, so honored, THANK YOU!

On to tonight’s story.  First selection, in honor of the Toad….. Continue reading “How to please everyone, when telling a tell all book!!!”

Loving for NOW, versus a lifetime…..A young girls must READ!!! R rated!

New Moral – everything happens for a reason!  Okay, maybe not everything but I’m clearly grasping for straws this week.

Goodnight kiddo’s!  Mom’s blog!  If I find you peeking – your are blocked!  To bed with you!  

Ever wonder what would have happened if you had stayed with the wild child?  Dickie….You know who you are!  Yes, as a passing thought, I remember, that sexual awakening that a young girl can never forget!  I thought I had it all figured out…..WRONG!  Does LUSTFUL LOVE last?  NO!  HELL NO!  It doesn’t mean it wasn’t really fun going through it.  I highly recommend this in COLLEGE which is where I should have been, except I was a single Mom!

A STORY…..TRUE……To protect the names of the innocent, oh and so I won’t get sued……

One night after dancing all night long, much PDA, and after making this rich boy totally suffer….A tease…always was (Hey, this is my story, let me tell it!)  After a sweaty night of dancing until 2am, (disclaimer….parents had my one year old).  Finally, make it back to my place where he thinks I will boot him out as I usually did.  I invite him in my modest town home.  Got my dance moves on….this athletic rich boy loves dancing with the dance girl, who can put American Hustle to shame….. We make out, we have another cocktail, danced off all the booze…..Was I even 21?  Doesn’t matter…. So, with liquid courage, I say I am going upstairs to change out of the sweaty clothes.  As fast as lightning…. super fast shower, Calvin Klein perfume – ESCAPE (Released in 1991), which was my plan…..extremely low back night-gown with a cris-cross back, sheer, no real boobs yet, but one amazing body that I was proud of.  The ballet really does this does this to you….. I got ready in oh….five minutes….(Could I do this now?  Ummmmm…..NO…..TRUTH) Billy Joel, she’s always a woman to me is playing on my highly sophisticated, single Mother cassette player.  She can kill smile, with she can wound with her eyes, and she only reveals what she wants you to see…. Like a Cat going in for the kill, it’s been 3 months he has put up with this for the BIG payoff, so a lesser performance would have been beneath me.  Plus, my Mother HATES him – this add’s to the thrill of the bad girl in me.

Shaky, but youthful and confident…..He’s laying on my sofa smoking, back when everyone did….At the top of the steps I can tell he thinks I am coming down in flannels to say BYE, gotta go to bed.  Not exactly how that happened.  How to accomplish this?  I mean with barely B cup boobs in the very shear nightgown, the back was the best part of me!! Do I walk down backwards?

I swear, the next song on my “mix tape” was let’s get it on…..Gotta love Marvin Gaye…..With huge amounts of courage, candles it, cassette playing, rich boy (who could have anyone, most of his dates were models and such, and a single Mom, can she pull it off?) Long blonde hair flowing down my back, I decide on the full on approach….I take each step very slowly….he’s been a good boy despite being the baddest boy I know….Respectful.  So, with every ounce of courage, I take each step slowly, I got to the third step – HE CHOKED ON THE CIGARETTE, AND FELL OFF THE FRONT OF MY COUCH!  I couldn’t help it, I started laughing hysterically during sexual healing!!!!  I raced down the steps to make sure he was OK.  By now, Toni Braxton, Another Sad Love Song has started playing….(I ran to him to help him up, and obviously didn’t want to burn the “fancy rug – $59 dollars, what would my Mother think?)  He surprises me…we both start dancing in my living room….God, I could have lived in this moment for the rest of my whole life and been just fine.  The candles are burning, Another Toni Braxton song, Breathe…..still kissing, still dancing, still overwhelmed…..what was this?  I never felt this way about my baby’s Father, so he lifts the gown over my head, to shockingly find nothing underneath.  (truly shocking, I’m still flannel girl with stuffed animals on my bed!)  He is an amazing singer, always was, starts singing sweetly in my ear while still kissing me and rubbing my lower back, in between ballets, telling me how truly I was gorgeous……LOVE should have brought you home last night, Toni Braxton…….I pull him over to the couch unable to control myself….he had no idea the torture I had put myself through waiting so long and rejecting him for the last three months.  Another SURPRISE!  If I am lying, I’m dying…..He flips me into his strong arms. (Like a Moth to Flame burned by the fire, that’s the way love goes;Toni Braxton) ***side bar – I guess I really liked Toni Braxton on this mix tape?Come with me, don’t you worry, I’m going to make you crazy, I’ll give you good time in your life, I’m going to take you places you never been before, and you’ll be so happy that you came…..Hopefully, I will too!  (I know shameful!) Up the steps we go, to my King sized baffled waterbed…..and baby don’t you worry we’ve got all night, just close your eyes and hold on tight.  The candles have been transferred upstairs (a hopeful bit of planning of my part)  That’s the way LOVE (LUST) goes.  I can honestly say I’m depriving you of details, this was my first REAL experience at almost 21 years old, and I just don’t remember the details, all I remember is loving the massage by candle light while he kissed every part of me.  Somewhere between 2am, and 6am, I think I woke up to water by the bedside, the bathroom, and then climbing and back into bed praying for another few hours before my Mom called and said I had to pick up my baby.

Turns out she didn’t call until about 1pm.  So energized, despite very little sleep; I promptly kicked him out, showered (even though I didn’t want too, I could still smell him on my skin), brushed my teeth, threw the hair back into my childhood pony tail, summer shorts, and tee-shirt.  Limped (REALLY) to my Mom’s who’s house was only five minutes from my townhouse to pick up my baby.  I remember being so happy.  After his lunch and nap, the kiddo and I went to the park, and then over to my best girlfriends house for the gory details!  I had the baby’s happy meal in hand, and dished as I blushed.  Dreading work the next day!

Dropped off my baby at the sitter’s and went to work and daydreamed all day long.  Not sure how I made it the whole day.  (No personal calls at work, but a dozen roses, this guy is a player)  I was determined NOT to call him but I had to call to say Thank You for the Roses right? (Lunch – 30 minutes)  It was the proper thing to do.  He says, don’t expect too much from me, I’m damaged goods and you are a good girl.  I said I wasn’t, no problem, my smile slowly fading…..until I got home at 5:30 and he was on my doorstep with food for the baby, Chinese Take Out for us.

How do these things ever end?  Read the book.

– The Mask of the Doctor’s Wife

When to tell your ghost writer to STFU? Probably never, but then you don’t know me.

I have said on multiple different occasions, I am not a writer.  I am an Author/Publisher/Small Marketing Business Owner for Physicians.  I’m old school, and came from the world of print, and the social media world is forever evolving and somewhat complicated, if you couldn’t already tell – this is what I used to pay people for!  Now, with taking the year or three off to write the book, and for her to re-write I am responsible for five social media sites, and this blog.  I understand I was given a retainer and maybe I should just pay someone to do this for me.  However, I do have a publishing house, and I can read, so given those facts I thought – EASY!  WRONG!

This book is personal, it a journey to help people investigate their family tree and develop a medical tree to see if they are pre-disposed genetically to serious illnesses, disease, and even addictions.  Without this valuable information, you could end up like me, fighting for your life and even death.  If I were not married to a doctor who recognized the symptoms the moment he walked in the door of our home, I would have been a GONER.  I got lucky, and I really believe God, and my departed beloved maternal grandmother is my guardian angel.

The book is also about perusing your dreams and just going for it despite the haters, and naysayers!  If you have not failed a few times, or in my case, a TON of times than you haven’t really tried and put yourself out there.  You will never know what you can achieve until you try, try again, and try again.  My advice is – Don’t be one of those people who is afraid to screw up!  Do you know anyone that is perfect?  I don’t.  Do you know anyone that walks around with a real halo of God above their head?  If you do – please give them my number so that I may be blessed!

girlgirlheadshotnatural

On an entirely different note.  If you are going to put yourself out there in the public light – LOOK your best while trying!  I never thought I would say these words, but they are so true especially if you are a woman.  I know life isn’t fair.  Men have it so much easier.  My husband can be showered dressed and out of the house in 15 minutes!  How infuriating is that?!!  I have so many beauty tips that have been researched and proven to work so that you can look amazing.  It won’t come easy, and sometimes not cheap, but looking the part before you get the part IS half the battle!  So, give it a shot!  Getting through that front door is half of the battle, once you get there, then it’s time to step it up and prove that you have earned the right to be there.  WARNING – There will be women who do not and will not follow the girl code of kindness, and having each other’s back!  That jealous Monster will come out of them and they will try to rip you apart.  If your beautiful, you cannot possibly have a brain, right?  WRONG!  In the beginning befriend these gals, be polite, friendly, and show them that they have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.

IMG_0089[1]

Trophy wife?  I think NOT!  Survivor, fighter, believing you can make a difference, loving with all your heart and always paying it forward!

– The Mask of the Doctor’s Wife

.  

Another sleepless night, do other writers/authors experience this? ANGRY and truth telling…..

Your mind is racing with your “TO DO” list, so much that you have to drag yourself from a sleepy slumber and just write.  Another such night for me.  I know my husband is a light sleeper, and my tossing and turning will awaken him.  I cannot bere the thought of an innocent person being hurt, because he was deprived of sleep.  So, here I sit, admittedly productively finishing Sunday nights blog.

It actually doesn’t come at to of an inconvenient time considering it needed to be done in the first place.  How engaging is this?  It’s not.  But, wait there’s more…..

Early evening I attempted, once again to get insurance matters, and finances out-of-the-way with the EX for our youngest child.  Money is a difficult thing to discuss as it is, and I have the two most important men in my life squabbling over a few dollars, and payroll deduction versus trusting him to pay us on time. How many women can relate with this?  I would be willing to bet MANY.  How many women would rather forgo money in lieu of harmony and happiness even if the other party wins?  Probably many, as long as you have an equal participant in other aspects.  I do not, unless it includes fun things like sports, etc…Otherwise, every parent/teacher conference, every tutor, every guidance counselor meeting, every doctor’s visit, every part of being a parent is on me. All school fee’s, new outfits, any other money requirement is on me.  When I’m a good girl and I don’t complain, and when I am as accommodating as I can be, all goes well!  The second I question this or suggest another route, usually, I am yelled at.  To the point of tears…(Disclaimer…as of late the babies daddy has significantly improved, but I’m still making a point!)  My wonderful husband who really provides so much for my children, including his time, vacations, and other things, get’s furious!  Why wouldn’t he be?  Okay, so dope head that says he pays medical bills, he says, hey don’t worry it’s all taken care of,he is not worried when the collection notices show up at my home.  This makes my husband furious!  These are our colleagues and friends that are taking care of my children.  The embarrassment of a collection notice coming home is NOT acceptable.  Does carefree, newly single motorcycle guy care? NO. I have an offer on the table for us to take over the inadequate insurance he offers that would save him money, he does agree, but will not agree to having it payroll deduction?  So, the issue is after a long history of not paying the required bills, or even asking for child support, do I fight or give in for the greater good?  I’m not going to get into this fully, because it is addressed in the book and a – GIRLFRIENDS GUIDE OF WHAT NOT TO DO, accompanies this. I always want to keep the peace.  Parents are at peace, so are the children,  Right?  I, personally do not care to engage in such arguments, it’s easier just to pay the bill and move on.  However, my income has been significantly reduced due to time off and finally dealing with my medical issues which are life threatening.  This EX that proclaims he is so understanding of this, is NOT at all.  He has made it clear to me if I go for a payroll deduction (just medical, plus expenses, no child support) he will either flee to another country or sabotage his own career and work at McDonald’s?  He claims this “garnishment” would ruin his upper level executive job?  Okay, let’s think about this upper level executive job for a moment.  Is he working for IBM?  Wall street?  A large financial institution?  NO.  He is working for a Mom and Pop HVAC company.  I am not in any way bashing his accomplishments, but it’s not that big of a deal, and since it will be clearly stated in the court’s order, he would still be able to get this done pre-tax dollars.  So, who wins?  I’m caught in the middle of “Who’s private part is bigger?”, I can tell you that answer without a doubt, not only does the husband Doctor win, but he is right!!  If I am doing all the work, paying all the bills, and this is the minimum he has to put up with – what is the big deal?  What?  Someone please enlighten me.

He has had to pay medical bills, and my attorney’s fee’s in the past.  He has lost at every turn.  Now he states that he has consulted with an attorney that says he can appeal to civil court?  This is crazy talk.  In the state of Virginia, it is a chart.  I make X, you make X, I am the primary custody holder, and the calculation is done!  It is of no relevance what my husband makes, this is his final child to pay for, at 15, I might add, so you are going to work at McDonald’s for three years?  I have already agreed to pay out our youngest son’s full college tuition, which he will be attending directly after high school and you are going to spend thousands, he told me, so this doesn’t happen?  Where is the logic?   (If you have thousands, why not put them in a college fund for the kids?)  Where is the brain of this once smart savvy person I knew?  Where?  To boot at the end of the conversation, which was becoming heated, my children arrived for dinner and I was certain they had heard part of this conversation.  So, I politely say, listen, I don’t agree with your attitude, but I love you and we will work it out.  This makes my baby (15) smile at me as he is headed for the shower before dinner.  This smile is what I LIVE for.  So, a person has to wonder, does being the doormat make you the better person for the greater good?  Or, does this just encourage people to break laws, disabuse trust, and treat others poorly unless they get their way?  What lesson does that teach in the end?

I won’t even go into the remarkable person that my husband is that has NEVER overstepped his boundaries, and despite dealing with this foolishness, just flipped the bill for the entire family vacation to Vail, including my children!  This is the guy you are angry with over $270 dollars payroll deduction for medical?  Really?  He is simply supporting his wife and making the person who says he wants to be the involved parent accountable.  No grudges, no hatred, nothing more.  The only sort of unkind text he sent my EX was to say that he was adolescent in his view of this matter, and the way he would graciously add our son to the insurance was through payroll deduction.  The response he received was it was “none of his business”, and he was only talking about what he had heard and had no real knowledge of the facts?  Are court orders, and collection bills not facts?  Are hearing his wife cry and suffer when she is in no condition to do so, not a reason to step up?  In my thoughts that is what any great man would, and should do.

Again, not wanting to ruin the plot of the book, I suffered tremendously for years at the hands of his live in(aka demon from hell, in the book) girlfriend.  As I have written in previous blogs, as soon as she was shown the front door – all was forgiven.  To quote Carly Simon, “Your so vain”, tells the entire story.  My forgiveness was not for him, and honestly not even for my children.  It was for me.  Carrying around that boulder weighs a person down.  It’s not a life I want to lead.  Forgiveness, sets your heart, mind, body and soul free.  I did it selfishly for me.  Is an apology, I’m sorry I put you through all that too much to ask?  Especially, when you have already admitted that you weren’t your best self at the time?  When he went through all of that – who was by his side?  Who cheered him on and said you CAN do this?  Me.  Did I forget his Birthday?  Nope, gift wrapped and all, from the kids.  Did I not help in furnishing his entire basement for our 19-year-old?  YES AGAIN, I did it all.  Big screen TV, bed, dressers, lamps, night stands, and everything. I did it for our oldest son so I am not asking for cheers and BIG thank you’s.  I’m simply asking for the decent person I once knew to step up, help me out some, participate in SOME of the real parenting that goes into raising fine young men.  That’s all.  Too much to ask for?

In closing, and I truly believe this – paying it forward is the way to live.  There is no greater life without it.  Despite my disease, despite my other medical conditions – I am a fighter and am here to stay.  I really believe in the natural goodness of others.  I really believe in the “girl code” and having each other’s backs.  I also really believe that there are good men out there who know how to treat their wives, girlfriends and women in general with the love and the respect they deserve.  I believe this because leading by example produces great men.  My oldest son is a wonderful caring husband.  My youngest son at the airport saw an older woman struggling with her luggage and without hesitation, turned around and said, “Mam, can I please help you with that?”  Those are the rewards of living a good life.  Those are the rewards of your heart being filled with joy knowing they are practicing what has been taught without being told to do so.  My middle son is getting it.  New gorgeous, smart, blonde haired – hazel eyed girlfriend!  That’s all for now.  Breakfast sandwiches made, Doctor off to the hospital, boy genius off to school – Mom off to bed.

XOXO,

Mask of the Doctor’s wife

The May/November Relationship – IT WORKS FOR ME!!!

Made a few small changes! Working on the next assignment now. Keep in mind, I am given a list of required topics. To date, I have covered four of their’s, including this one. Next one is all me!

The Mask of the Doctor's Wife

Definition-

Relationships with age disparity of all kinds have been observed with both men and women as the older or younger partner. In various cultures, older men and younger women often seek one another for sexual or marital relationships.[7] Older women sometimes date younger men as well,[8] and in both cases wealth and physical attractiveness are often relevant. -Citing- Wikipedia’s definition!  Please refer to the definition that I am often referred to –

Trophy wife is an informal term for a wife, usually young and attractive, who is regarded as a status symbol for the husband, who is often an older and wealthy “sugar daddy“. The term trophy husband is the male equivalent.

Referring to a spouse as a trophy wife usually reflects negatively on the character or personality of the husband, and has a connotation of narcissism and desire to impress others, and that the…

View original post 618 more words

The May/November Relationship – IT WORKS FOR ME!!!

Definition-

Relationships with age disparity of all kinds have been observed with both men and women as the older or younger partner. In various cultures, older men and younger women often seek one another for sexual or marital relationships.[7] Older women sometimes date younger men as well,[8] and in both cases wealth and physical attractiveness are often relevant. -Citing- Wikipedia’s definition!  Please refer to the definition that I am often referred to –

Trophy wife is an informal term for a wife, usually young and attractive, who is regarded as a status symbol for the husband, who is often an older and wealthy “sugar daddy“. The term trophy husband is the male equivalent.

Referring to a spouse as a trophy wife usually reflects negatively on the character or personality of the husband, and has a connotation of narcissism and desire to impress others, and that the husband would not be able to attract the sexual interest of the attractive woman but for his wealth or position. Again citing Wikipedia…..

Now that the definitions are out-of-the-way, on to tonight’s blog…..

My husband is fifteen years plus my senior. He is not the Father of my children, but is the Father figure to all.  I would be foolish if I were to be embarrassed or give any of these terms any substance.  I suppose in some relationships they are true. This is not the case for us.  I was and am successful in my own right before marrying the good Doctor that saved my life!  I am honored to share what I have learned.

I have learned that it is much better to be married to a grown up.  I have learned that due to my disease, and being forced to age mentally older than natural, that men my own age not only bored me, but did not have the same drive for success and self-worth that I had.  I had grown tired of coming home to a grown man playing video games and smoking pot while I did all the work with the children, house, and still completing my education.  As I have said in earlier blogs, I had longed for a partner, someone who would love me, cherish me, lust after me, romance me, surprise me, remember my Birthday, anniversaries, and make special occasions, SPECIAL.  I dreamed of a man who would do anything just to see me smile.  I did not dream of fancy vacations, fancy jewelry, fine art work, a fancy car or anything like these things.  I had already obtained a career, a stipend of money to call my own, and most importantly freedom.  So, given all of this, Why did I decide to marry this brilliant man?

Persistence.  Most men, if they do not get what they want after a period of time, give up or either stray until the woman he really wants gives in.  Mine never did either.  He chased me, he had patience with me, he took on the baggage of three children, he cared enough for me to realize I was ill, and fought for the answers. He was not perfect, he had flaws like anyone else, but his honor always shined bright and simply would not accept “NO” for an answer.  So, July 12  2009 after three years of dating, two and half years after being presented with an almost 3 carat diamond brilliant solitaire ring, we were married by our best friend, a wonderful judge at our country club.  The greatest day of my life, finally being given away by my Father (step-father in legal terms, but Daddy ALWAYS in my terms).

Marriage is hard.  Especially in the May/November relationship!  Different interests, different generations of what is acceptable and what is not, different child rearing, different personalities, different sexual interests, different outlooks on the remainders of our lives (retirement, thinking of end points and what must be done, investments, etc.) are so very different.   I feel like a princess every day of my life, I love my life, I love my step-children as if they were my own.  I have a great time with them,  I am a young grandmother of two boys.  My youngest son, Carter, 15, perhaps the luckiest of all.  He has had the benefit of seeing hard work, success, and two parents that enjoy each other very much!  He loves his natural Father, but he adores his step-father.  They hunt, fish, golf, share, laugh, and really enjoy each others company without the latest video game!

That’s all I can legally say…..Until next time…..

The Mask of the Doctor’s Wife