Loving for NOW, versus a lifetime…..A young girls must READ!!! R rated!

New Moral – everything happens for a reason!  Okay, maybe not everything but I’m clearly grasping for straws this week.

Goodnight kiddo’s!  Mom’s blog!  If I find you peeking – your are blocked!  To bed with you!  

Ever wonder what would have happened if you had stayed with the wild child?  Dickie….You know who you are!  Yes, as a passing thought, I remember, that sexual awakening that a young girl can never forget!  I thought I had it all figured out…..WRONG!  Does LUSTFUL LOVE last?  NO!  HELL NO!  It doesn’t mean it wasn’t really fun going through it.  I highly recommend this in COLLEGE which is where I should have been, except I was a single Mom!

A STORY…..TRUE……To protect the names of the innocent, oh and so I won’t get sued……

One night after dancing all night long, much PDA, and after making this rich boy totally suffer….A tease…always was (Hey, this is my story, let me tell it!)  After a sweaty night of dancing until 2am, (disclaimer….parents had my one year old).  Finally, make it back to my place where he thinks I will boot him out as I usually did.  I invite him in my modest town home.  Got my dance moves on….this athletic rich boy loves dancing with the dance girl, who can put American Hustle to shame….. We make out, we have another cocktail, danced off all the booze…..Was I even 21?  Doesn’t matter…. So, with liquid courage, I say I am going upstairs to change out of the sweaty clothes.  As fast as lightning…. super fast shower, Calvin Klein perfume – ESCAPE (Released in 1991), which was my plan…..extremely low back night-gown with a cris-cross back, sheer, no real boobs yet, but one amazing body that I was proud of.  The ballet really does this does this to you….. I got ready in oh….five minutes….(Could I do this now?  Ummmmm…..NO…..TRUTH) Billy Joel, she’s always a woman to me is playing on my highly sophisticated, single Mother cassette player.  She can kill smile, with she can wound with her eyes, and she only reveals what she wants you to see…. Like a Cat going in for the kill, it’s been 3 months he has put up with this for the BIG payoff, so a lesser performance would have been beneath me.  Plus, my Mother HATES him – this add’s to the thrill of the bad girl in me.

Shaky, but youthful and confident…..He’s laying on my sofa smoking, back when everyone did….At the top of the steps I can tell he thinks I am coming down in flannels to say BYE, gotta go to bed.  Not exactly how that happened.  How to accomplish this?  I mean with barely B cup boobs in the very shear nightgown, the back was the best part of me!! Do I walk down backwards?

I swear, the next song on my “mix tape” was let’s get it on…..Gotta love Marvin Gaye…..With huge amounts of courage, candles it, cassette playing, rich boy (who could have anyone, most of his dates were models and such, and a single Mom, can she pull it off?) Long blonde hair flowing down my back, I decide on the full on approach….I take each step very slowly….he’s been a good boy despite being the baddest boy I know….Respectful.  So, with every ounce of courage, I take each step slowly, I got to the third step – HE CHOKED ON THE CIGARETTE, AND FELL OFF THE FRONT OF MY COUCH!  I couldn’t help it, I started laughing hysterically during sexual healing!!!!  I raced down the steps to make sure he was OK.  By now, Toni Braxton, Another Sad Love Song has started playing….(I ran to him to help him up, and obviously didn’t want to burn the “fancy rug – $59 dollars, what would my Mother think?)  He surprises me…we both start dancing in my living room….God, I could have lived in this moment for the rest of my whole life and been just fine.  The candles are burning, Another Toni Braxton song, Breathe…..still kissing, still dancing, still overwhelmed…..what was this?  I never felt this way about my baby’s Father, so he lifts the gown over my head, to shockingly find nothing underneath.  (truly shocking, I’m still flannel girl with stuffed animals on my bed!)  He is an amazing singer, always was, starts singing sweetly in my ear while still kissing me and rubbing my lower back, in between ballets, telling me how truly I was gorgeous……LOVE should have brought you home last night, Toni Braxton…….I pull him over to the couch unable to control myself….he had no idea the torture I had put myself through waiting so long and rejecting him for the last three months.  Another SURPRISE!  If I am lying, I’m dying…..He flips me into his strong arms. (Like a Moth to Flame burned by the fire, that’s the way love goes;Toni Braxton) ***side bar – I guess I really liked Toni Braxton on this mix tape?Come with me, don’t you worry, I’m going to make you crazy, I’ll give you good time in your life, I’m going to take you places you never been before, and you’ll be so happy that you came…..Hopefully, I will too!  (I know shameful!) Up the steps we go, to my King sized baffled waterbed…..and baby don’t you worry we’ve got all night, just close your eyes and hold on tight.  The candles have been transferred upstairs (a hopeful bit of planning of my part)  That’s the way LOVE (LUST) goes.  I can honestly say I’m depriving you of details, this was my first REAL experience at almost 21 years old, and I just don’t remember the details, all I remember is loving the massage by candle light while he kissed every part of me.  Somewhere between 2am, and 6am, I think I woke up to water by the bedside, the bathroom, and then climbing and back into bed praying for another few hours before my Mom called and said I had to pick up my baby.

Turns out she didn’t call until about 1pm.  So energized, despite very little sleep; I promptly kicked him out, showered (even though I didn’t want too, I could still smell him on my skin), brushed my teeth, threw the hair back into my childhood pony tail, summer shorts, and tee-shirt.  Limped (REALLY) to my Mom’s who’s house was only five minutes from my townhouse to pick up my baby.  I remember being so happy.  After his lunch and nap, the kiddo and I went to the park, and then over to my best girlfriends house for the gory details!  I had the baby’s happy meal in hand, and dished as I blushed.  Dreading work the next day!

Dropped off my baby at the sitter’s and went to work and daydreamed all day long.  Not sure how I made it the whole day.  (No personal calls at work, but a dozen roses, this guy is a player)  I was determined NOT to call him but I had to call to say Thank You for the Roses right? (Lunch – 30 minutes)  It was the proper thing to do.  He says, don’t expect too much from me, I’m damaged goods and you are a good girl.  I said I wasn’t, no problem, my smile slowly fading…..until I got home at 5:30 and he was on my doorstep with food for the baby, Chinese Take Out for us.

How do these things ever end?  Read the book.

– The Mask of the Doctor’s Wife

Author: Stephanie Carter Taylor

Small business owner since 2003. Trying to achieve great health and overcome adversity! Recently I was told to take a year off from physician marketing consulting, to work on my health goals. I really had no intention of following this advice, with a survivor mentality, and a hard head, I did not start making changes until my visit to the Neurologist. His words rocked my world, and I am writing about that experience. As life always happens, this is when I landed the book deal. These blogs are the first step in marketing. They automatically go to Twitter and Facebook, and email if you sign up. Leave me your comments and ideas, they are directly emailed to me, or click on the blogger Facebook page to leave public comments!

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