Pain Expert Dr. David Schechter

Please highlight the above and go to podcast, if this will not allow you to click through!

Please listen to the above link!  I really believe in this mind over your body therapy!   In the beginning of my journey, being inoperable, I started out by exercising like mad to strengthen to lower back with cardio and eliminated my belly, then I pushed even more with core work, and I lost a ton of weight.  In fact, I lost way too much weight.  I am trying to gain back a few pounds with more strength training, and muscle-building.  I do feel somewhat better, and I am definitely stronger than I have ever been.  Did the pain magically go away?  No.  Did I hurt myself in the process?  Yes, many times.  What was my next step?  I thought I must be doing some of the exercises wrong, so maybe I need a refresher course in physical therapy?  Probably, however with my issue, my pain is very real, I do have episodes of acute pain, and chronic pain.  We can all review the MRI or read up on herniated disc’s or degenerative disc disease.  All true in my case.

I had not heard of this therapy or read Dr. Schechter’s book.  I had however made up my mind that I was going to beat it.  Somehow, someway, I was going to beat it!  I started seeing an excellent Neurologist, coupled with an amazing Ph.D.  I began weekly therapy.  SLOWLY, I am able to use the mind/body therapy.  I was not aware until I heard this podcast that this is what I was actually doing.  My process has taken over a year of self discovery and knowing I could reach my full potential. Do I always succeed?  No.  I am always re-inventing new ways to distract myself from the pain.  This Doctor talks about journalism, I am writing a book!  This Doctor talks about hobbies, I now have them!  Getting healthy does not happen overnight.  You will go back and forth for the first year, potentially longer if you are totally changing your mind and dealing with a painful past that will physically hurt!  My therapies are very limited due to the blood disease.  No Advil or anti-inflammatories for me, no acupuncture for me, no creams that contain certain ingredients for me, and even with my healthy changes there are still going to be situations that are really rough for me.  Long plane trips, long car rides, long sessions of sitting, and long nights of writing or lack of sleep.  I try to stay away from these things as much as I possibly can, when I do have to do these things without question I will pop the pill.  However, it is not the norm as it used to be in the past.

Listen to this Doctor and his mind over body therapy!  It definitely works when you are able to use it along with a healthy lifestyle, diet, exercise, and journalism.  I do not believe in suffering when it becomes extremely acute, but I do believe it can happen with everyday life.  I also believe if you are dealing with your emotions and have a good connected physician team you can feel a lot better!  Just try it!  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  Trust me, I have tried every shortcut there is, sometimes you just have to do the work. 🙂


aka….Mask of the Doctor’s Wife!

How much is enough? Do the thing everyone frowns upon and put yourself first!

Honestly, when you decide to get your act together, how much truth needs to be told?  This is not a sad or morbid topic, actually it’s pretty fun.  When you seek the truth, and have been through a life altering experience, and then decide it’s time to act….how much of this do you share?

If you are like me, you feel so deeply that others can benefit from this wake up call and want to share it with the world.  In my case, a book that pretty much spells it all out.  What if the other people in your life are not willing to accept this new you?  What if they are so content in keeping their heads buried in the sand, that the very thought of truth-telling makes them nervous?  I think first you have to ask yourself, what are they so nervous about?  Are they actually thinking that you will sell them out, or are they worried with the altered reality that they have lived in for so long being taken away?  I’ve discovered it could be any combination of the above.  In response to this, I have developed some questions to ask yourself to determine whether you are over sharing, and if what you are do actually benefits anyone other than yourself?  Will it cause others pain?

1.  Are you potentially helping others by bringing to light a problem that could help others?  Is it a medical fact that has been ignored, that could be in your bloodline, or in others – something that may never have considered because it is not a routine test?

2.  Are you hoping to educate others who could be in a potentially harmful situation?  Will your words speak to them and hopefully bring these folks to action?  Will it help them fall in love, or look in the mirror FOR REAL?

If you answered yes to the above questions, than tell as much as you legally can!  Even if you sell it or share it as Fiction based on a True story.  Go for it!  These opportunities are once in a lifetime, and you are only cheating yourself if you don’t tell as much as you can.  You may end up saving someone else.  What a gift!

What I have noticed is in the writers community, (I’m not, I am an Author, and Publisher) that many of the writers are either depressed or tell inspirational stories about those who could be depressed and how to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  Well kids, here is the truth.  I am neither depressed, or upset at any of it anymore.  The key to survival is faith in yourself and what you have to offer to others in your blog, book, article, or whatever publication you put out there.  If you are looking for a story that involves survival of the fittest, overcoming huge obstacles, while still empowering others to do the same you have come to the right place.  If you are looking for romance, heartbreak, medical drama, and a true heroine, than look no further!

The Mask of the Doctor’s Wife is about the mask’s we all wear to cover insecurities to overcome adversity in times when we just have no other choice.  Unless you are incredibly rich (I’m not), or a known celebrity (I’m not), than you will have to rely on the words of your story to inspire others to want to know more!  This blog is an introduction to a young single Mother who grew up not knowing the truth about herself.  She was told a story, that she believed because she could not remember the facts, and all she really knew was that her body failed her, more than it should.  Every time this happened, she brushed herself off, got up and moved forward with little help from anyone.  Our heroine, who is good-hearted in nature, desperately wanted to find the key to her locked mind, and so she searched.  She is not perfect and never pretends to be.  She is not a victim and refuses to be treated as such.  She is simply a girl who grew into a woman who took advantage of the doors that were opened for her and once inside of those doors succeeded, time and time again.  Failure came and went, but it never became a part of her vocabulary.  The love of a strong “adopted Father”, and a strong husband saved her life.  When given this gift, she decided to help others and empower them to become their best selves and to educate others on how to turn tragedy into grace.

This is my story.  Like any great story it comes with a price.  It exposes certain people who do not want to accept change, who will turn into naysayers that refuse to see the truth inside themselves. I cannot accept the responsibility for those that do not want real change, I can only share the story in hope that it will reach those who, like me, need the answers and are willing to take off the rose-colored glasses.

Life is messy.  Life brings opportunity and those unwilling to grab for it are really missing out!  If you don’t believe me watch the “Walking Dead”.  That is the same thing, walking through life without really taking the time to laugh, smile, make fun of yourself, and live in the moment.  I could, and have, in many past blogs quoted music, movies, other famous Authors, and try to relate to my audience the best I can.  Life although messy, is better than the pathway not traveled due to fear or intimidation!  This girl does not intimidate easily, and she has nine lives, and like the cat will always eventually land on her feet.  What’s not to love about that?

Words of wisdom came from a great friend of mine last night.  The best we can do for ourselves is to accept who we are, and with that valuable information to do the best we can to become our best self.  I call this #PROGRESS!  It is far better to move forward than not to move at all.  For me, it started very small, instead of the long “to do lists” I used to make for myself, I cut it to three things per day.  Three things you can accomplish realistically and build from that.  In addition to that, make others own their responsibilities.  The bailout stops here.  The guilt stops here.  Past pain from those that have harmed you but cannot own it and apologise, stops here.  Now that you have accepted yourself for who you are, accept others in the same way.  Forgiveness and love are the phases that follow tears, and anger.  It’s worth the journey.


aka…Mask of the Doctor’s Wife

What you will need while teaching your fifteen year old to drive…..and teenagers growing up!

My youngest son will be sixteen in July, so we decided on buying the Grande Jeep Cherokee early so he could learn on what he would be actually driving.  He has completed the Driver’s Ed class at school and obtained his learners permit on his first try!  This actually is a big deal because out of our five boys total, only two passed the learners exam at the DMV the first time.  If you miss any of the traffic signs, which are first, you are kicked out with a fail!  So, knowing that, this kid was prepared!  He was ecstatic at his success and yes I did make him take the Mom and Son selfie with the pasted test paper!  The DMV in Virginia mails you the actual picture licence in the mail.

We really haven’t taken him on any country roads for practice or any parking lots prior to this!  BAD parents!  However, I’ve heard that my oldest son did let him drive his car a few times, so I had no idea what to expect while teaching him.  Below are the items you will need while attempting to log your son’s practice hours.

1.  A very good, tight, seat belt.

2.  A hold on for dear life bar, jeep’s are great because they have these.

3.  A neck brace.  (If you don’t wear this, you will be put in my position of asking my Doctor for a muscle relaxer, due to the fact that I could not move my NECK)

4.  Post a driving schedule on social media so people know where your going to be driving so they can stay away from that area completely.

5. Let your neighbors know that should all back up their mailboxes about a foot from where they currently are.

6. I’m looking for a flag or a sign that says, “Student driver in training”.  I’m doing this to avoid the terrified stares I’m getting from other drivers.

7. A sedative, or a glass of wine for after the lesson is over.

8. A piece of styrofoam to put under your right foot as your imaginary break to keep yourself from injuring your foot due to the stomping, styrofoam should be good because it has some “give to it”.

9. Try to employ someone else to do it.

10. Try to get your husband, Father, or basically any man you can find.  Men tend to deal with this better.

Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled come October 22nd my son will be able to drive himself, thus eliminating the chauffeur service I usually provide to here, there, and anywhere.  At the same time, I’m TERRIFIED!  This is my last baby behind the wheel of a car.  Any Mother who says she is not worried about her child driving is either highly medicated, or has insanity issues!  It seems like just last week he graduated from middle school to high school.  These milestone’s while important, can make the best Mother cry knowing he is growing up way TOO fast, and even though he sometimes makes me crazy, I cannot even start to imagine him packing his bags for college and leaving me!  It will look something like this –  This is my BABY even though he towers over me at over six feet tall!  Don’t worry, my highly qualified shrink and I are discussing this on a regular basis to prepare me for that day.  Since it is two and a half years away, this might be enough time for me to start in dealing with it.  The picture below is how it would be if I didn’t always demand the two arms hug.  This is a requirement.

Mother And Daughter Hugging Drawing King features mom connie

While on the subject at least, my youngest still does want to hang around Mom, and still does ask what is for dinner 800 times from when he walks in the door from school to when it’s actually served!  My nineteen year old is definitely like this –

Credit for both comic strips go to Zits, they are hysterical and you can check them out at

In short raising teenagers is hard work.  Their hormones coupled with yours as the Mom are enough to send any sane person into a padded cell for weeks at a time.  I have to remember that this is all normal, and probably payback for the pain in the a** I was to my parents!  They are so sure that they know everything, and by the third one, YOU know everything about what the are going to TRY and get away with and are a bit more savvy in dealing with these situations.  TIP Screaming into a pillow can help your nerves.  Trying to remain calm, cool, and collected with not always prevail, and you might have to resort to such terror tactics like, “If you do not make the honor roll, your cell phone will not make it back into your pocket!”  After all, you are the Mom, the parent, it is your job to protect them, guide them, love them, and raise hell if they screw up too much.  It is not always a popular job, it’s not always fun playing police to curfew times, “friends” of theirs that are not good influences,and making sure you hear their voice instead of letting them get away with always texting.  I firmly believe it is way more important to be around the house if you can while they are going through these years.  So many parents think they need to be there when they are babies and toddlers, and that is true to some while nursing, and forming that bond with your child.  However, if you have to go back to work – at that age is the BEST time.  Save up and become the stay at home Mom, or work at home Mom when they are in High School.  When they are accepted into college, and have made it through these years with minimal scars, they will Thank You for it. Obviously not at the time you are actually doing it, but later in life they will be glad Mom had their back and tried her hardest to lead them into the right direction.

***Sidebar – NEVER hang up the phone without telling them how much you love them.  Text it to them as much as you can.  They may find it annoying now, but later on they will look back at their childhood and know in their fullest heart that their Mom loved them.  You cannot buy the kind of self-esteem it gives them, or the peace of mind it gives you.

This Blog is dedicated to my boys.  I am proud of them all.  This blog is also dedicated to my girlfriends who are great Mom’s, including one’s that took on children that were not their own!

The Mask of the Doctor’s Wife…aka…Mom, and Moma

A MUST read…all dreams shattered including the great Wizard who gave me back my brain, or my PCP?

I was all set for the Wizard of OZ theme for this blog!  I was off to see the wizard with the Scarecrow (secretly hoping he would share some of his new found smartness with me)!  I have a horrific case of blogger’s block!  I’m not going to say writer, because we all know I’m NOT; just ask any of the fun friends who email me with spelling errors every week!

What to do as the hopeless romantic in desperate search for some help of fairy tales, and inspirational stories?  Again, this is exactly why my book will be a best seller!  Maybe not New York Times worthy but at least worthy of the dollar bin, or as my VERY friendly New York ghostwriter keeps telling me!  Wow, she is so inspirational and does a great job helping with myself confidence!  I clearly move forward with self worth!  I am confident after chapter and chapter rejection and rewrite this book will be finished before I’m 90!  I am sure of this!  So, I need to digress as I usually do.

ME, no fuss, as I AM!!!
ME, no fuss, as I AM!!!
Continue reading “A MUST read…all dreams shattered including the great Wizard who gave me back my brain, or my PCP?”

How do you ever repay someone for saving your life?

My husband has saved my life in so many ways.  Literally, and emotionally.  He has worked very hard to be the one man, besides Daddy, and my children, that has never given up with on me.  You could pile 1,000 suitcases full of baggage and not even come close to what I brought with me into this relationship.  Any other normal man would have given up long ago.  He is not a normal man.  He is so different from me, but yet we are so much alike.  We are not quitters.  We are not victims.  We are survivors that will overcome adversity and strive to improve ourselves.  We realize that we are both human and make mistakes.  If we do hurt each other, and this happens in marriage, when the conflict is over, it truly is OVER.  No grudges, no keeping score, no revengeful paybacks.  This is a miracle to have this kind of unconditional love and security.

I can have a HOT temper.  I can take a lot, and really do not express my anger at the time.  This is not a good thing.  Eventually that straw of hay will break the camels back and I will explode!  That leaves your partner feeling like, What happened?  They don’t understand.  For as much as I do talk, I keep a great deal hidden inside.  For many reasons, but mostly out of fear of rejection and heartbreak.  I’ve had so much of this over my life that I try to avoid it like the plague!  I haven’t got time for the pain. (said best by Carly Simon)  I forgive people that have wronged me.  I’m selfish.  I don’t do this for them, I do it for me.  Carrying that huge boulder on my shoulders weighs me down, and most importantly hurts my overall health and longing to become well in body, mind and spirit.

I am the highest of high maintenance, and I understand this about myself.  It is one of the things on my MANY items on the “to do” lists that I am working on.  I was brought up to believe that crying and freely expressing emotions were a sign of weakness and not good qualities that attract good relationships and friends,  Like my husband, I don’t want to wear down my good friends, family and children with my illness.  I want them to see the true me – happy, go lucky, confident, secure, and in control. (Well, almost always in control, the wine sometimes hurts more than it helps)  I may not always succeed at this, but I will never stop trying.  Rehab is for quitters!

I do attempt to pay it forward whenever I can, and I feel other people’s pain.  It is in my nature to want to help, to want to lend a helping hand, and to succeed in trying to make a difference.  This world can be so cold, if I can make someone else feel warmer, safer, lend/give money, or make others lives a little brighter, again I may not always succeed, but I will try. If I hurt someones feelings, I feel genuine remorse and will say I’m sorry, I will admit to being wrong.  This comes at a huge risk for me because many times I feel things on a deeper level than most.  I do not like pain.  Let me rephrase that, I hate pain and the very thought of it scares me to my core.  Being so vulnerable comes with huge risk.  I risk putting myself out there in hopes that others may think of me in times when I may need a helping hand.  Many times, unfortunately because I dislike burdening others, I don’t give them the opportunity and just selfishly expect them to just know when I need a helping hand. When people do not come to my rescue, I become angry and may even lash out if provoked.  I know this is wrong, so again, it is on my “to do list” of things that I want to work on.  Just because I am in tune with others and sense their pain, does not mean that they are going to be in tune to mine.  They are not mind readers, and I am trying to accept that.

I am forever in my wonderful husbands debt for saving my life, and I am sure this is a debt that I can never fully repay as hard as I might try!  Some might say I make it harder on myself than I should.  As much as I would love to lie about this and say they are wrong, that would in fact be a lie.  I am my toughest critic and my own worst enemy when it comes to this; Another thing on my ever growing “to do list” of self awareness and true recovery.

I refuse to be a victim!

I am no angel, I am no better than anyone else, and being humble is trait I admire in others and attempt to be myself!  I think when you achieve a certain amount of success, it is difficult to remember this!  So mark today’s date April 1, 2015 as the date that I am attempting to be mindful.  To those that truly know me, this is not an April Fools joke!

If you have never failed at something, you have never really tried!  Forgiveness is something I give to others freely.  On todays date my goal is to learn to forgive myself!  A tall order for most, but for me it is a mountain.  So, in closing, I hope I have inspired some of you.  How can you expect someone else to forgive you when you say you are sorry, if you cannot forgive who should be the most important person in your life, being you?  I firmly believe without this self awareness of putting yourself first, you are incapable of helping others.

Until next time,

The Mask of the Doctors wife