I was all set for the Wizard of OZ theme for this blog! I was off to see the wizard with the Scarecrow (secretly hoping he would share some of his new found smartness with me)! I have a horrific case of blogger’s block! I’m not going to say writer, because we all know I’m NOT; just ask any of the fun friends who email me with spelling errors every week!
What to do as the hopeless romantic in desperate search for some help of fairy tales, and inspirational stories? Again, this is exactly why my book will be a best seller! Maybe not New York Times worthy but at least worthy of the dollar bin, or as my VERY friendly New York ghostwriter keeps telling me! Wow, she is so inspirational and does a great job helping with myself confidence! I clearly move forward with self worth! I am confident after chapter and chapter rejection and rewrite this book will be finished before I’m 90! I am sure of this! So, I need to digress as I usually do.
What does it mean when other women are constantly calling you anorexic? I mean what is the politically correct thing to say? Ummmm….Thank you? Due to a disease I am trying to gain back the weight….Upon looking at you, perhaps you can be of some assistance? What is the right response? Oh, sorry, I accidentally married a brilliant Doctor that not only saved my life, but also locked me in a closet and starved me to become his dream girl?
Hosting the Masters Tournament at our home, EVERY YEAR is upsetting me! That’s the very reason why Dorothy cannot make it to the Wizard, and therefore, I cannot blog!
It does bring to mind the Master’s golf tournament I’m forced to watch EVERY year. I feel like at the end Bob Barker should walk out and make an announcement. Let’s tell him what he’s won boys…..A fine green jacket (vomit), millions of dollars (yea), AND would you look at that….all these Victoria’s Secret Models just happen to be hanging around? WOW! So, you get the hideous green jacket, millions, a super model wife, and????? I mean I’m not sure about everyone else, but for a guy, I would just stop there. Isn’t that as good as it gets? The male has to play golf, if it is his CAREER, a fine jacket and endorsements from Nike, Adidas, North Face, and Subway! I do start to get excited over that….free sandwiches for life! Just ask Happy Gilmore! No more meal planning girls…..Seriously, what does all this mean? I still go, out of my element to be the hostess of watching paint dry; and hobnob as I am supposed to, where is my Subway sandwich? This is a total rip off, it doesn’t exist only the pimento cheese white bread sandwiches as sold at the Masters? If your going to call me anorexic, where is your moral obligation to feed me? Sigh……
I’m going to watch The Notebook again. There has to be a master conclusion. I’m determined to find it! Perhaps Botox, and the shrink appointment will help me feel better tomorrow. Obviously, I need to go, while teaching my youngest son to drive this weekend, it has sealed my face with permanent FEAR wrinkles! This cannot be good. I will keep you folks informed.
***For those hoping for the Wicked Witch of the West to appear…She does exist in NEVERLAND, carefully named Evil Step-Sister B*Tch in the book. (FICTION based on a true story kids) Still hoping for “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”!
Until next time, my favorite song, dedicated to well…YOU DECIDE, but I do love me some Billy Joel!
The Mask of the Doctor’s Wife….aka…terrified Mother of last driving teenage boy…I will post a driving schedule to keep the good folks off the streets….