In the above picture, I am still wearing the mask, but NOT. I am truly happy most of the time. Do you forgive a toxic person for your own inner peace? Or is that selfish. These are the things I ponder.
My awesome happy, bear hug, positive, but calls me out on my own shit is not my biological Father. I still stand firm that blood doesn’t matter. He raised me. I am sure of his love with no doubt in my mind, but recently I have been praying about forgiveness.
My biological Father is a different story. I won’t shame him by name, but the childhood traumas are mostly gone now. How can I be one of God’s children without forgiveness? Maybe he will accept it or maybe he won’t. That part really doesn’t matter, I am doing it for me this time. Not because I want a relationship or because I need validation. I’m doing it because my eye’s are forever open of what I lived through and loved through in others. My Brother always loved me with all of his heart, he may not have always liked me or agreed with me but that is just life and the true nature of real love.
I feel a deep sense of conflict to this very day. I’m going to pray about it some more and then just give it up to the higher power that now guides me through this journey of grief, happiness, sadness, and early menopause! Ha!
Enjoy this week’s song. It is directly related to the walk we must all crawl…walk…and then RUN!
This blog is dedicated to my Queen. Only she knows who she is!
The Mask of the Doctor’s Wife…