When to tell your ghost writer to STFU? Probably never, but then you don’t know me.

I have said on multiple different occasions, I am not a writer.  I am an Author/Publisher/Small Marketing Business Owner for Physicians.  I’m old school, and came from the world of print, and the social media world is forever evolving and somewhat complicated, if you couldn’t already tell – this is what I used to pay people for!  Now, with taking the year or three off to write the book, and for her to re-write I am responsible for five social media sites, and this blog.  I understand I was given a retainer and maybe I should just pay someone to do this for me.  However, I do have a publishing house, and I can read, so given those facts I thought – EASY!  WRONG!

This book is personal, it a journey to help people investigate their family tree and develop a medical tree to see if they are pre-disposed genetically to serious illnesses, disease, and even addictions.  Without this valuable information, you could end up like me, fighting for your life and even death.  If I were not married to a doctor who recognized the symptoms the moment he walked in the door of our home, I would have been a GONER.  I got lucky, and I really believe God, and my departed beloved maternal grandmother is my guardian angel.

The book is also about perusing your dreams and just going for it despite the haters, and naysayers!  If you have not failed a few times, or in my case, a TON of times than you haven’t really tried and put yourself out there.  You will never know what you can achieve until you try, try again, and try again.  My advice is – Don’t be one of those people who is afraid to screw up!  Do you know anyone that is perfect?  I don’t.  Do you know anyone that walks around with a real halo of God above their head?  If you do – please give them my number so that I may be blessed!


On an entirely different note.  If you are going to put yourself out there in the public light – LOOK your best while trying!  I never thought I would say these words, but they are so true especially if you are a woman.  I know life isn’t fair.  Men have it so much easier.  My husband can be showered dressed and out of the house in 15 minutes!  How infuriating is that?!!  I have so many beauty tips that have been researched and proven to work so that you can look amazing.  It won’t come easy, and sometimes not cheap, but looking the part before you get the part IS half the battle!  So, give it a shot!  Getting through that front door is half of the battle, once you get there, then it’s time to step it up and prove that you have earned the right to be there.  WARNING – There will be women who do not and will not follow the girl code of kindness, and having each other’s back!  That jealous Monster will come out of them and they will try to rip you apart.  If your beautiful, you cannot possibly have a brain, right?  WRONG!  In the beginning befriend these gals, be polite, friendly, and show them that they have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.


Trophy wife?  I think NOT!  Survivor, fighter, believing you can make a difference, loving with all your heart and always paying it forward!

– The Mask of the Doctor’s Wife


Another sleepless night, do other writers/authors experience this? ANGRY and truth telling…..

Your mind is racing with your “TO DO” list, so much that you have to drag yourself from a sleepy slumber and just write.  Another such night for me.  I know my husband is a light sleeper, and my tossing and turning will awaken him.  I cannot bere the thought of an innocent person being hurt, because he was deprived of sleep.  So, here I sit, admittedly productively finishing Sunday nights blog.

It actually doesn’t come at to of an inconvenient time considering it needed to be done in the first place.  How engaging is this?  It’s not.  But, wait there’s more…..

Early evening I attempted, once again to get insurance matters, and finances out-of-the-way with the EX for our youngest child.  Money is a difficult thing to discuss as it is, and I have the two most important men in my life squabbling over a few dollars, and payroll deduction versus trusting him to pay us on time. How many women can relate with this?  I would be willing to bet MANY.  How many women would rather forgo money in lieu of harmony and happiness even if the other party wins?  Probably many, as long as you have an equal participant in other aspects.  I do not, unless it includes fun things like sports, etc…Otherwise, every parent/teacher conference, every tutor, every guidance counselor meeting, every doctor’s visit, every part of being a parent is on me. All school fee’s, new outfits, any other money requirement is on me.  When I’m a good girl and I don’t complain, and when I am as accommodating as I can be, all goes well!  The second I question this or suggest another route, usually, I am yelled at.  To the point of tears…(Disclaimer…as of late the babies daddy has significantly improved, but I’m still making a point!)  My wonderful husband who really provides so much for my children, including his time, vacations, and other things, get’s furious!  Why wouldn’t he be?  Okay, so dope head that says he pays medical bills, he says, hey don’t worry it’s all taken care of,he is not worried when the collection notices show up at my home.  This makes my husband furious!  These are our colleagues and friends that are taking care of my children.  The embarrassment of a collection notice coming home is NOT acceptable.  Does carefree, newly single motorcycle guy care? NO. I have an offer on the table for us to take over the inadequate insurance he offers that would save him money, he does agree, but will not agree to having it payroll deduction?  So, the issue is after a long history of not paying the required bills, or even asking for child support, do I fight or give in for the greater good?  I’m not going to get into this fully, because it is addressed in the book and a – GIRLFRIENDS GUIDE OF WHAT NOT TO DO, accompanies this. I always want to keep the peace.  Parents are at peace, so are the children,  Right?  I, personally do not care to engage in such arguments, it’s easier just to pay the bill and move on.  However, my income has been significantly reduced due to time off and finally dealing with my medical issues which are life threatening.  This EX that proclaims he is so understanding of this, is NOT at all.  He has made it clear to me if I go for a payroll deduction (just medical, plus expenses, no child support) he will either flee to another country or sabotage his own career and work at McDonald’s?  He claims this “garnishment” would ruin his upper level executive job?  Okay, let’s think about this upper level executive job for a moment.  Is he working for IBM?  Wall street?  A large financial institution?  NO.  He is working for a Mom and Pop HVAC company.  I am not in any way bashing his accomplishments, but it’s not that big of a deal, and since it will be clearly stated in the court’s order, he would still be able to get this done pre-tax dollars.  So, who wins?  I’m caught in the middle of “Who’s private part is bigger?”, I can tell you that answer without a doubt, not only does the husband Doctor win, but he is right!!  If I am doing all the work, paying all the bills, and this is the minimum he has to put up with – what is the big deal?  What?  Someone please enlighten me.

He has had to pay medical bills, and my attorney’s fee’s in the past.  He has lost at every turn.  Now he states that he has consulted with an attorney that says he can appeal to civil court?  This is crazy talk.  In the state of Virginia, it is a chart.  I make X, you make X, I am the primary custody holder, and the calculation is done!  It is of no relevance what my husband makes, this is his final child to pay for, at 15, I might add, so you are going to work at McDonald’s for three years?  I have already agreed to pay out our youngest son’s full college tuition, which he will be attending directly after high school and you are going to spend thousands, he told me, so this doesn’t happen?  Where is the logic?   (If you have thousands, why not put them in a college fund for the kids?)  Where is the brain of this once smart savvy person I knew?  Where?  To boot at the end of the conversation, which was becoming heated, my children arrived for dinner and I was certain they had heard part of this conversation.  So, I politely say, listen, I don’t agree with your attitude, but I love you and we will work it out.  This makes my baby (15) smile at me as he is headed for the shower before dinner.  This smile is what I LIVE for.  So, a person has to wonder, does being the doormat make you the better person for the greater good?  Or, does this just encourage people to break laws, disabuse trust, and treat others poorly unless they get their way?  What lesson does that teach in the end?

I won’t even go into the remarkable person that my husband is that has NEVER overstepped his boundaries, and despite dealing with this foolishness, just flipped the bill for the entire family vacation to Vail, including my children!  This is the guy you are angry with over $270 dollars payroll deduction for medical?  Really?  He is simply supporting his wife and making the person who says he wants to be the involved parent accountable.  No grudges, no hatred, nothing more.  The only sort of unkind text he sent my EX was to say that he was adolescent in his view of this matter, and the way he would graciously add our son to the insurance was through payroll deduction.  The response he received was it was “none of his business”, and he was only talking about what he had heard and had no real knowledge of the facts?  Are court orders, and collection bills not facts?  Are hearing his wife cry and suffer when she is in no condition to do so, not a reason to step up?  In my thoughts that is what any great man would, and should do.

Again, not wanting to ruin the plot of the book, I suffered tremendously for years at the hands of his live in(aka demon from hell, in the book) girlfriend.  As I have written in previous blogs, as soon as she was shown the front door – all was forgiven.  To quote Carly Simon, “Your so vain”, tells the entire story.  My forgiveness was not for him, and honestly not even for my children.  It was for me.  Carrying around that boulder weighs a person down.  It’s not a life I want to lead.  Forgiveness, sets your heart, mind, body and soul free.  I did it selfishly for me.  Is an apology, I’m sorry I put you through all that too much to ask?  Especially, when you have already admitted that you weren’t your best self at the time?  When he went through all of that – who was by his side?  Who cheered him on and said you CAN do this?  Me.  Did I forget his Birthday?  Nope, gift wrapped and all, from the kids.  Did I not help in furnishing his entire basement for our 19-year-old?  YES AGAIN, I did it all.  Big screen TV, bed, dressers, lamps, night stands, and everything. I did it for our oldest son so I am not asking for cheers and BIG thank you’s.  I’m simply asking for the decent person I once knew to step up, help me out some, participate in SOME of the real parenting that goes into raising fine young men.  That’s all.  Too much to ask for?

In closing, and I truly believe this – paying it forward is the way to live.  There is no greater life without it.  Despite my disease, despite my other medical conditions – I am a fighter and am here to stay.  I really believe in the natural goodness of others.  I really believe in the “girl code” and having each other’s backs.  I also really believe that there are good men out there who know how to treat their wives, girlfriends and women in general with the love and the respect they deserve.  I believe this because leading by example produces great men.  My oldest son is a wonderful caring husband.  My youngest son at the airport saw an older woman struggling with her luggage and without hesitation, turned around and said, “Mam, can I please help you with that?”  Those are the rewards of living a good life.  Those are the rewards of your heart being filled with joy knowing they are practicing what has been taught without being told to do so.  My middle son is getting it.  New gorgeous, smart, blonde haired – hazel eyed girlfriend!  That’s all for now.  Breakfast sandwiches made, Doctor off to the hospital, boy genius off to school – Mom off to bed.


Mask of the Doctor’s wife

The May/November Relationship – IT WORKS FOR ME!!!

Made a few small changes! Working on the next assignment now. Keep in mind, I am given a list of required topics. To date, I have covered four of their’s, including this one. Next one is all me!

The Mask of the Doctor's Wife


Relationships with age disparity of all kinds have been observed with both men and women as the older or younger partner. In various cultures, older men and younger women often seek one another for sexual or marital relationships.[7] Older women sometimes date younger men as well,[8] and in both cases wealth and physical attractiveness are often relevant. -Citing- Wikipedia’s definition!  Please refer to the definition that I am often referred to –

Trophy wife is an informal term for a wife, usually young and attractive, who is regarded as a status symbol for the husband, who is often an older and wealthy “sugar daddy“. The term trophy husband is the male equivalent.

Referring to a spouse as a trophy wife usually reflects negatively on the character or personality of the husband, and has a connotation of narcissism and desire to impress others, and that the…

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The May/November Relationship – IT WORKS FOR ME!!!


Relationships with age disparity of all kinds have been observed with both men and women as the older or younger partner. In various cultures, older men and younger women often seek one another for sexual or marital relationships.[7] Older women sometimes date younger men as well,[8] and in both cases wealth and physical attractiveness are often relevant. -Citing- Wikipedia’s definition!  Please refer to the definition that I am often referred to –

Trophy wife is an informal term for a wife, usually young and attractive, who is regarded as a status symbol for the husband, who is often an older and wealthy “sugar daddy“. The term trophy husband is the male equivalent.

Referring to a spouse as a trophy wife usually reflects negatively on the character or personality of the husband, and has a connotation of narcissism and desire to impress others, and that the husband would not be able to attract the sexual interest of the attractive woman but for his wealth or position. Again citing Wikipedia…..

Now that the definitions are out-of-the-way, on to tonight’s blog…..

My husband is fifteen years plus my senior. He is not the Father of my children, but is the Father figure to all.  I would be foolish if I were to be embarrassed or give any of these terms any substance.  I suppose in some relationships they are true. This is not the case for us.  I was and am successful in my own right before marrying the good Doctor that saved my life!  I am honored to share what I have learned.

I have learned that it is much better to be married to a grown up.  I have learned that due to my disease, and being forced to age mentally older than natural, that men my own age not only bored me, but did not have the same drive for success and self-worth that I had.  I had grown tired of coming home to a grown man playing video games and smoking pot while I did all the work with the children, house, and still completing my education.  As I have said in earlier blogs, I had longed for a partner, someone who would love me, cherish me, lust after me, romance me, surprise me, remember my Birthday, anniversaries, and make special occasions, SPECIAL.  I dreamed of a man who would do anything just to see me smile.  I did not dream of fancy vacations, fancy jewelry, fine art work, a fancy car or anything like these things.  I had already obtained a career, a stipend of money to call my own, and most importantly freedom.  So, given all of this, Why did I decide to marry this brilliant man?

Persistence.  Most men, if they do not get what they want after a period of time, give up or either stray until the woman he really wants gives in.  Mine never did either.  He chased me, he had patience with me, he took on the baggage of three children, he cared enough for me to realize I was ill, and fought for the answers. He was not perfect, he had flaws like anyone else, but his honor always shined bright and simply would not accept “NO” for an answer.  So, July 12  2009 after three years of dating, two and half years after being presented with an almost 3 carat diamond brilliant solitaire ring, we were married by our best friend, a wonderful judge at our country club.  The greatest day of my life, finally being given away by my Father (step-father in legal terms, but Daddy ALWAYS in my terms).

Marriage is hard.  Especially in the May/November relationship!  Different interests, different generations of what is acceptable and what is not, different child rearing, different personalities, different sexual interests, different outlooks on the remainders of our lives (retirement, thinking of end points and what must be done, investments, etc.) are so very different.   I feel like a princess every day of my life, I love my life, I love my step-children as if they were my own.  I have a great time with them,  I am a young grandmother of two boys.  My youngest son, Carter, 15, perhaps the luckiest of all.  He has had the benefit of seeing hard work, success, and two parents that enjoy each other very much!  He loves his natural Father, but he adores his step-father.  They hunt, fish, golf, share, laugh, and really enjoy each others company without the latest video game!

That’s all I can legally say…..Until next time…..

The Mask of the Doctor’s Wife

A handmade Christmas letter from my Son that made me cry, perspective, and cleared writer’s block!

I got the most beautiful, lovely, heart felt Christmas letter from my son Carter Jennings Dennis. I won’t lie, I cried when he gave it to me. He is so appreciative of things that Mom’s “just do” for their children. It’s not a favor or a gift, it’s my job, it’s love. Even though he expressed appreciation for the things I do on a regular basis, he also expressed that he knows how much he is loved.  He feels it.  The greatest Christmas gift I received..

This is ironic. My two other boys have said the same thing within a week’s time. This is really important.  Unsolicited emotions from your boys are rare.  When it happens, there is no greater happiness!

Everyday, not just Christmas or Birthday’s let them know how much you love them, SHOW them, I promise they will remember. It gives them an inner confidence, and it shows in everything they do.

Embrey (my purple heart hero) is so smart, he radiates confidence. He can walk into a room, introduce himself to everyone, shake their hand look them in the eye and carry on intelligent conversations with large groups of people. He is a proven leader, and has always been capable of the way he is today. He takes true pride in his work, and this shows with his rapid advancement in his job. THIS IS A TRUE GIFT. Most people cannot do this!

Cody shows empathy for others and would give the shirt off his back for the under dog. Cody is a hard worker, but a dreamer.  (Who does this remind me of?  Hummm…) He has BIG dreams, and he puts these visions into the things he does. He is a wild card. He makes mistakes, but it doesn’t really matter considering his huge comebacks. This can be a power COMBO with some guidance, and especially when he leads with his heart.  If this doesn’t sell him his precious dimples and smile will!  My Cody is going to be a STAR…just give him some time and the world will see!  He is already a star to me!  (This rhyming is due to the MANY Dr. Seuss books I have read aloud)

Carter – LOVE, pure love. True joy. Smart, funny, athletic and ambitious! He really cares about others, and makes it a habit to give back. It doesn’t matter if I am watching him play soccer, shopping – picking out what HE likes and what makes him feel good about himself.  He will take out the trash, unload the dishwasher, carry in all the groceries; help put them away, feed the dogs, and clean his room (when asked!).  He takes great pride in his appearance, is timely for school, overcomes obstacles in school and makes good grades.  He hunts, fishes, golfs, and embraces his step-father.  And loves his weekends with his Dad!  He embraces his Brothers, well, most of them, and loves to joke!  The Christmas letter was beautiful, touching, appreciative, kind and a genuine act of kindness. This was all I wanted for Christmas.  My husband told me not to expect it because boys are not good at these things.  They are reluctant to show emotion.  I’m sure it wasn’t the most favorite thing he wanted to do.  He did it because he knew how much it would mean to me.

I will admit that Carter being my last born, and my first born came into my world at 19 years old, that my parenting skills are much improved and I am confident in a way I probably wasn’t with the first two.  This has made me feel guilty at times that I wasn’t perfect.  I’m a bit OCD anyway. Despite this, hearing from my boys that they never worry about it because they know how much I love them, and they have felt loved.

I’m a bit strict, I will check grades, I will make sure they are doing as they are supposed to, I will make sure they use good manners, open doors for women, address adults appropriately and use respect.  I may not be perfect, I have made mistakes – some big ones, but I am accountable for them.  I think it’s OK to let your kids know your not perfect and make mistakes.  It is a life lesson.  Besides, what kid wants to open to the parent that they think is perfect?

Most importantly, to be me, I always demand the two hand hug.  Even boys need affection.  Everyone does.

SIDE NOTE – The book is forever stalled over Chapter 7 do to medical drama.  I may be looking at a re-write.  I seem to be doing that allot.  I guess practice makes perfect.  An Author does not a writer make, but apparently the skill is worth practicing!  Either way it will get done, extra work is a necessity for a book not to end up in the $1.00 bin.  Right?

– Mask of the Doctor’s Wife

Jingle Bell Rock!

I had the greatest time with my younger son shopping, singing, eating dinner together and just getting to spend time with him.  This time is so precious that I want to make the most of it.  He being a teenager, will have some fun with Mom, and tolerate certain things, but this is slipping away from us quickly and the importance of Mommy times are becoming less.  Sigh… He is the last one to leave the nest and I wish I could stop the clock!

How can someone feel so blessed and so tortured at one time?  I’m not sure.  All I know is that it takes patience and time to overcome injuries and accept your limitations and what is right for you, versus what you want to be able to do.  I’ve never been good at the whole waiting thing, and I pray for the strength to make it through another Holiday season!  I guess when you have had what seemed like the most perfect Christmas’s in the world that is allot of pressure to put on yourself!

My hope is everyone’s Christmas is filled with joy and love.  it’s never all about the gifts under the tree, but the time you get to spend with the people you cherish.

Merry Christmas 2013!  See you in moving forward with the book in the New Year, I just don’t know which NEW YEAR!  Hopefully by 2016?  It was crazy talk to think this could be done in a year!  It took me a full year to start getting my brain back!  Happy New Year anyway!

XOXO, Stephanie

I am keeping my promise…..NOT PG 13….R rated….

It’s 3:40 a.m. and I will be shortly snuggled up to that man I love so much, but I alluded to the difference between young love, and mature love and had to write this while still very fresh in my mind, heart, body and soul.

Young love is great, passionate, heart breaking, brutal, but remains sweet until you realize that your just not that person anymore.  Then what?  If you are a normal person (I’m not) you may stick it out hoping for the best, working on doing things better, seeking professional help……or whatever it is that a normal person does.  For me, being an older soul in a younger body, when it’s done, it’s done.  I’m not going to lie and say I wouldn’t test the water again to be 100% certain, but I usually am right.  I’ve done this it’s just to confirm what my soul already knows.  Plus, being a girl of grand illusion, I may build something bigger in my mind than what it truly is, and as I’ve said before, test the water just to be sure.  Ultimately, my gut is usually always right and that door closes quickly once I DECIDE, I’m done.

My husband, my hero, my lover, my hunter, my pro golfer, my EVERYTHING….will always win.  He knows this to be true and really understands me, so I can just relax and be the woman I am now, and the woman I was always meant to be.  This does not happen overnight.  This is what I am referring to when I talk about mature, true love, something that every woman hides deep in her soul, but the right man will eventually see all of it.

Take an evening like tonight.  My youngest love tucked away safely with my oldest love, so I can be free to let me hair down and just move out of Mommy mode, into sexy adult wife mode, which truth be told, is AWESOME.  So, he comes home from hunting, I’ve taken a writing, “ME” day, so when I hear him pull into the garage, my heart starts to beat faster, and I am ready for him.  The one thing I have learned about this amazing man is he prefers the natural me, to the done up me.  This is refreshing girls, if this mans tells you that, you he means it.  You are somewhat of a natural beauty (ok, minus the yearly Botox), so it’s not hard work.  A daily bath/shower, his favorite perfume, a sonic toothbrush, (if you don’t have this….search the internet and get it at a reasonable price, a healthy white smile is gorgeous with no makeup at all)  run your brush through that long hair he loves once – and throw you hair up into a pony tail/bun (he wants to see your face), and throw on your casual jeans, and that t-shirt/long or short depending on weather over that girl next door underwear and matching UNLINED, but under wire bra and you are ready to go.  A little lip gloss, and be the YOU that he loves. He will love being that man who walks into the door to that lazy purring cat that is so comfortable in her own skin.

He suggests taking you out to casual dinner after visiting with a friend or two, you agree knowing he will never make it to the restaurant after the friend’s house, so don’t even worry that you’re not done up enough for this occasion. In my case there is no harm in casual flirting with his friend, because he is only two years younger than your Dad and a married man, so no harm, but great reward for you if you can pull it off.  I  believe that any man, despite age or profession, loves to show off that wife of his.  Yes, a bonus if she is 16 years younger, but every man loves that, and every man is drawn to a woman who is confident and can hold her own.   So, just do it.  Shy girls in the corner even if she is a real knockout will quickly be tossed aside for one that can engage, be smart, funny, and above all else pretend to be really interested in what they have going on.  Ask questions, appear intrigued, and do it knowing your husband is watching.

So, after the friend visit which is only supposed to last 3o minutes, turns into 2 hours and three cocktails, you are ready to reel him in like the fish he catches.  Peanuts with the cocktails, and left over pizza when you come home is a great night and pretty easy on the waist line.  Here comes the R rated version, kids go to bed, turn off the internet, and if I catch you reading this, suddenly my blog will become blocked from your computer.  Besides, what teenager wants to hear about a marriage with a 58-year-old husband?  Hang on to this until your 30’s and you will understand it and appreciate it.  So, back to the evening, nightcap?  Sure.  Just because you are married, doesn’t mean your dead, and this was the topic of conversation at our friends house that made my husband squirm.  Our friend was going on about his important, meaningful work….this just baffles me.  My parents are slowing down, enjoying each other and my Mother seems very happy with that.  Okay, so maybe one could argue that even at our age, it is still too soon to be semi-retired.  However, even those with the busiest schedules, MUST make time for this.   My husband was squirming because we are having fun, we are slowing down, and I am PROUD of that.  He is still trying to compete on the play ground which is just bonkers because every Doctor’s wife knows, especially ones that deal with real life or death trauma, you cannot keep up that pace forever.  So, back to the subject at hand.  Nightcap poured, and it’s time to slip into something more comfortable, our “soft clothes”.  Again, this will not make the Victoria’s Secret catalog, but men who still want that wife bad, will not care.  Women who are smart, will make it look effortless. Toothbrush again, pull the hair down, one swipe with the hairbrush, a tank top or light weight t-shirt (bye to the bra) and PJ pants or weather depending, girly boxer shorts and you are ready.  Notice I say light t-shirt?  I don’t care if you are a size A or a triple D bust this is going to get his attention.  I have always been very affectionate.  Not slutty, but affectionate.  On the couch put your legs over his, or caress his hand, a kiss or two on the neck won’t hurt either…..Let him talk.  You (I) always do, so him sharing something with you, no matter what it is, will be important.  While sipping that nightcap and listening rub leg, entwine your feet, but make physical contact.  In no time long, you will be making out on the couch and racing to get upstairs.  When getting there, not so fast big boy….if he doesn’t do it or he is brushing his teeth whatever, slip that t-shirt off, slip those pj pants off, pretend to be washing your face or whatever….and let him have a good look.  After this is done, you are golden, pull back the sheets and enjoy the ride…….if your not a writer, or trying to be…GO TO SLEEP wrapped up in that man.  If you are, and your husband is 58, he will be snoring in oh, 10 minutes.  Then grab your water, for God’s sake use the boudeau, do what you must and then cuddle in for the sleep in Saturday.  The glow you will have the next day will be more amazing than any skin cream on the market, and he will be attending to your “honey do list” without you even having to ask.  So, when my girlfriends ask what the difference between young love, and mature love?  Mature love is one that grows greater everyday and makes you the happiest woman on Earth.  Goodnight…..

Not wearing the mask to bed, probably not wearing anything…..the lazy slumber morning has benefits, but that is for another chapter. 🙂



Christmas is coming, and I refuse to get FAT!

Having a hard time getting into the spirit of things this year!  I think this has to do with so much pressure to do so many things that I feel like a pressure cooker!  Am I writing?  Yes, and no.  I am re-writing, re-writing, and re-writing.  When I first signed on to this journey I felt the need to edit every word and to make it SOUND like me.  My ghostwriter being from an entirely different world had a rough time with this.  Her advice was to keep these blogs as much about ME, and my family so that by the time the book comes out perhaps they remember hearing the name.  I thought the idea was good for a different reason, you will “hopefully” be reading her words, but I insist that you hear my voice and remember the reason why the story was so important to tell.

Hereditary blood diseases can be mean a ton of unnecessary surgeries, it can mean huge fatigue, it can mean death, especially if you are unaware that you have one.  My greatest hope is the book empowers people to behave like blood hounds and take the time to get to know your family medical history.  You would not believe how important a through medical history is, and how much money it will save you if you can put it all together.  Some blood tests are not routine, so in order to identify what is going on, you have to dig deeper and get the help of a really good Hematologist!  If it goes on long enough misdiagnosed as it did for me for YEARS (41 to be exact), you are in serious trouble.  Surgeries that would be considered normal and easy to recover from will not be the same for you.  Complications will happen, you will be extremely fatigued, and your mind will start to go COO COO for COCO Puffs on you!  I remember thinking what the hell is wrong with me?  Why, do I feel like this?  Granted in my particular situation, there was some Neurology that needed to be addressed too, but I couldn’t help but wonder would I have gone to such a dark place mentally and emotionally if I simply had some answers?  I really don’t think I would have.  I am a fighter in the ring, and a cheerleader on the side for others.  Giving up has never been an option, and I wasn’t going to start then or now.

You see when you become a Mother at 19 years old, it’s not all about you anymore.  This fact alone has probably saved my life more than anything else.  When you look at those adorable faces you just can’t think about you first anymore.  There will come a time when that can happen, and if you waited until you finished college, worked at a job or knew yourself first maybe you have the upper hand.  I didn’t.  The honest truth is I had no idea who I was.  I had been wearing the mask so long, I let others figure it out for me.  I didn’t trust myself enough, so I always thought everyone else was right.  It wasn’t until everything was revealed to me that I started on the journey of who is Stephanie?  A rebirth occurred that blew my mind and I was so happy it did!  I think my children would agree with this as well!

Happy Carter is coming in the front door and that’s where I want to be, so, maybe we will finish this chat later.  A thought occurred to me at 1:00 a.m., but I could not drag my tail out of bed or sit up to write about it, but I’m going to so look out!  Young, passionate, let’s never wear clothes love, and responsible adult, secure love.  Is it possible to have both?  I think you will be surprised at what I have to say!

– Wearing the mask this week – Stephanie

Sunday blog deadline! Support our Army warriors, my son is a hero! Girlfriends to a man with kids – this is a MUST READ!

Sunday blog deadline! Support our Army warriors, my son is a hero! Girlfriends to a man with kids – this is a MUST READ!.