So you had a bad day…Think of the goodness…Husband, children, grandchildren and of coarse…DOGS…


The pictures above are obviously of my family, and I am blessed to have them all.  Now, having said this …. Doesn’t it piss you off royally when you just need a day to re-group and Johnny Sunshine says,”cheer up, look at all you have to be grateful for!”  It does for me.  I want to look at that person and say,”yes, I obviously am blessed – however – I forgot to take my f*cking happy pill today!”  It’s just one of those days.  

I had to parent my youngest child today!  Absolutely hate the pain of having to do that.  He is a good kid, but he made a mistake and needs to learn from it!  I think mine actually knows very well how hard it is for me.  His POWERS go something like this, he gets angry and storms off.  I give him time but HOLD my ground.  About an hour later, he will come to me and say I love you Mom and you were right.  I’m not sure anyone can possibly understand how much this means to me.  It really does mean something to raise a young man who will become a great man.  By great, I mean his morals are in fact, he has empathy for others, he’s kind, sweet to girls that one day become women and he will be a great husband!  He’s laid back and doesn’t have to stress too much because he knows the difference between wrong and right and will use those tools to become successful and happy.  

My full time parenting will come to an end as he enters his senior year of High School and then is off to college!  It makes me cry a lot.  It makes me do a happy dance a lot!  Only Mom’s understand these are some very complex emotions.  Throw in menapause and you are a ticking time bomb!

So, I had a bad day.  It won’t kill me, I’m the survivor.  Born that way.  The Cat with nine lives who will land on her feet no matter what!  All phrases I’ve been told, and I couldn’t agree MORE.  Happy HUMP day!

Aka….the mask of the Doctor’s wife….

What is this LENT my BFF speaks of?

Okay.  So, I had already decided I liked the Catholic religion!  For ALL the right reasons!  Free counseling for one.  The confessional, would save me thousands in therapy!  (No offense Dr. S) I love to give him $25.00 per week to be able to unload my conscience!  However being a Catholic – WOW!  You get to unload and be forgiven with some Hail Mary’s!  How can this be?  Now I am really interested!

The next great thing that Catholics get to do is drink WINE!  In fact, you can go to church and still get your buzz on.  Now, I am sold!  Considering converting from my Southern Baptist background and baptism based on this solely!   It does all seem to be too good to be true.  Where is the catch?

LENT –

Starts 40 days from Ash Wednesday.  A time of thoughtfulness, reflecting, and giving up something that you desire for this amount of time in order to experience the suffering of Jesus Christ.

So, okay this isn’t so bad, I mean who doesn’t need a little reflection and fasting?  It reminds me of a good detox, and most times this is a good thing because you usually loose a few pounds and your skin and hair is very brilliant and shiny.  So, what to give up?  Hummm…. I could give up that forth work out of the week!  I could give up fish, I mean look at all those cars with fish on them?  Highly appropriate I think!  Then the WORST thing happened.

My BFF, my sounding board, my female partner in crime decides to give up Proseco?  How can this be? I mean we are women now having graduated from White Zinfindal (gross, I know – this was our twenties).  We then moved on to Chardonnay (yuck again, too oaky for us now), then we became real high society savvy women and went with Pinot Grigio.  Nothing is bad about the right Pinot, you will just have an achy belly if you drink too much of it.  However, Proseco is AWESOME!  It is like the forbidden dry soft drink with a buzz, minus the bad Diet Coke chemicals!  Finally, the perfect drink!  And now it is lost for 44 days.  What to do?

What exactly are the hard core rules of this LENT?  Like if you don’t buy it and bring it home or order it out at a restaurant than that should be enough?  Am I right?  If your BFF shows up with it at your door, well, than I think God would consider it rude not to join your girlfriend.  Is this really cheating?  I think not!  This is what we would consider a loop hole.

I mean how are you supposed to survive with a teenager still at home without the Proseco?  It just seems mean.  God isn’t mean, he is kind, he loves you, and he forgives you.  Am I right?  Can’t I just make a donation or something?

Well I will tell you three things for sure –

  1. I haven’t really decided given this news if I will become Catholic  but congrats to those that are.
  2. Surviving without the BFF and Proseco, will lead to other bad habits for diversion like SHOPPING!  This would be an expensive 44 days for me.
  3. I like my spiritual side, and it gives me plenty of comfort, especially while trying to remain sane and polishing off the last teenager at home!  As women of this century we need all the help we can get!

Will I sabatoge my BFF for selfish reasons?  NO, well maybe if it was absolutely necessary, but thinking of excuses requires a certain savvy I just haven’t acquired yet.  Okay, well maybe I have accomplished this but she is your girlfriend and not a guy.  #girlcode. #girlfriend guilt.  It’s not worth it.  So, with a heavy heart I raise my glass to my friend and say, ” You Go Girl, I support you, and I look forward to seeing you in 44 days”!

Until next time the Mask of the Doctors wife is still considering religion.  Catholics have a happy and introspective lent, but please do it quickly so I can get my girl back!

-ST

Take back your power…Do pass GO, collect your money!

Sexy, Smart Woman....
Sexy, Smart Woman….

Hello Friends!

I highly recommend using caution while reading this blog!  If you are a sexy, confident woman like the one above – you are going to love it!

I have completed a few of my new courses and the the healing part of my therapy.  Wow, it feels so good!  Great to be in control of my mind, body, and spirit!  Great to feel the love of EIGHT very close girlfriends (you know how you are) and a loving husband who has tolerated so much during this progress.  Great news, Chapter nine is officially approved, and I am working on a deal with Kindle as we speak.

Some advice for taking on such a journey!  ( kids, go to bed)

1.  Fuck anyone who says you can’t do it.  You can!  It will become obvious soon and they will feel like idiots (probably already are) for doubting you!

2.  I am a very kind, generous person that gives to other freely, some people say they are, but ask them what charity, or their close family, what matters the most have they have either donated their time or money to, and I would guess the answer is zero!  We all have these family members or friends that we have given to time and time again.  They do not value it!  The buck stops here.  If they owe you money?  Easy, take out a warrant in debt.  These are not charity cases, they have the ability to pay, you are just on the bottom of their list!  Take back YOUR power and serve that warrant to their employer, they know it’s coming, and you know you are not okay with the way it was to be handled!  Especially if they are not invested in a building a REAL relationship with you.  They are users and need to learn the hard facts of life.  The time for being the doormat is OVER.

3.  You are a good person!  You may have made 100 mistakes in the past, but you strive for self improvement everyday.  STOP trying to prove anything to anyone.  Those that really love you will go out of their way to show it!  Those that don’t prove they need the wake up call, and it is up to you to give it to them!  Bounced checks?  Unpaid loans, broken promises….They do not care about you, they are not interested in real healing, they think of number one and it’s about time you did too.

4.  In my case of abuse and neglect.  Forgive those that hide behind their excuses.  Just forgive them and move on.  Practice doing what you say and saying what you mean,  This is so important and it separates the bullshitters from the doers!  The pain will be a constant battle, but one that can be won given the right tools in your toolbox.  The Gaslighting of them turning around the story to make you the bad guy is OVER.

5.  People who like to revise HISTORY, you are okay in your own skin.  No anxiety or panic attacks here.  Let them tell their side, chances are you were a mere child (in my case) so let them say what they will.  You are not everyone’s cup of tea, and that is okay.  Who is?  Do you like you?  That’s all that matters and you gave up trying to control others a long time ago.  Ever heard the phrase, ” win some, lose some?”  Be okay with it!  you will sleep very well at night!  I know, I do!

6.  Finally, be that gorgeous blonde, brunette, or whatever you are.  There is no one else like you, nor will there ever be.  Love that about yourself.  That is truly the key to every worthwhile relationship!  Eight close girlfriends is okay, a wonderful husband who always has your back even better, three beautiful children that need you to teach life’s lessons are the icing on the cake.

ST

aka…..The Mask of the Doctor’s Wife

 

You mess with my kids, grown or not, you are in BIG trouble!

There is such a thing called being a Mother.  It’s not a part-time job and it doesn’t end when your children turn eighteen.  There are really bad people out there who will try to manipulate them.  They will try tactics like being nice, saying nice things to gain their trust, and basically attempting to worm their way into their lives and possibly yours.  Some basic signs to look for when approaching a possible predator.

FACEBOOK PAGES – How many adults over the age of forty that are not related to the family or a good friend of the family approach your children on Facebook and try to engage them in conversation?  If this is happening to your child or your young adult, this person could be a predator.  Does this people engage others in your child’s life in an effort to gain information about them?  If they review their friend list and try to engage those kids or young adults as well, you should definitely be concerned of the intentions of this person.  After all what grown adult that is not tied to the family or a good friend of the family does this?  It’s creepy and totally inappropriate.  The way they react when approached will tell you everything you need to know about their intentions.  If you have asked them nicely to stop and they are a normal person, they will respect the parents and stop this behavior on their own, and will probably even apologize.  Watch out if the below happens.

IF THIS PERSON GETS ANGRY WHEN YOU APPROACH THEM ABOUT THEIR INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR WITH YOUR YOUNG ADULT/CHILDREN AND STARTS NAME CALLING AND USING ABUSIVE LANGUAGE –

This is a GIANT red waving flag.  Document this conversation.  If you have kindly and nicely asked them to stop this behavior and they respond with anger, start name calling the parents, other children in the family and above all refuse to respect your request involving your child, this person obviously has a serious screw loose. Take action immediately.

WHAT TO DO –

Did you know that abusive language and profanity is a crime?  Document the conversation, your cell phone carrier can assist you with this.  If this predator has a documented history of abuse, and you have had to seek such actions of blocking them from your phone, Facebook page, and social media, do not permit this person to have any contact with the people you love.  The time for being nice is OVER.  Tell them in VERY CERTAIN terms that they are to cease and desist this contact.  Both parents, still married or divorced need to send a united message that this behavior will not only stop immediately, but if it doesn’t you can take your evidence to your local Magistrate and have a Judge sign off on a restraining order.  Their IP address will be attached to their cell phone and their computer.  Take this information along with any angry abusive texts with you when you go to seek action against this person. Do not worry about being the nicer, better person at this point.  Rising “above it” is not going to help this situation.  This person is unstable, and could be capable of more than you realize.

In today’s technology of cell phones and social media you can NEVER to be too careful when your kids are concerned.  Life sometimes does get a little messy.  Don’t let this worry of making a mess keep you from being the good parent that you are.  Your kids will thank you for it.

aka….Mask of the Doctor’s Wife

When to tell your ghost writer to STFU? Probably never, but then you don’t know me.

I have said on multiple different occasions, I am not a writer.  I am an Author/Publisher/Small Marketing Business Owner for Physicians.  I’m old school, and came from the world of print, and the social media world is forever evolving and somewhat complicated, if you couldn’t already tell – this is what I used to pay people for!  Now, with taking the year or three off to write the book, and for her to re-write I am responsible for five social media sites, and this blog.  I understand I was given a retainer and maybe I should just pay someone to do this for me.  However, I do have a publishing house, and I can read, so given those facts I thought – EASY!  WRONG!

This book is personal, it a journey to help people investigate their family tree and develop a medical tree to see if they are pre-disposed genetically to serious illnesses, disease, and even addictions.  Without this valuable information, you could end up like me, fighting for your life and even death.  If I were not married to a doctor who recognized the symptoms the moment he walked in the door of our home, I would have been a GONER.  I got lucky, and I really believe God, and my departed beloved maternal grandmother is my guardian angel.

The book is also about perusing your dreams and just going for it despite the haters, and naysayers!  If you have not failed a few times, or in my case, a TON of times than you haven’t really tried and put yourself out there.  You will never know what you can achieve until you try, try again, and try again.  My advice is – Don’t be one of those people who is afraid to screw up!  Do you know anyone that is perfect?  I don’t.  Do you know anyone that walks around with a real halo of God above their head?  If you do – please give them my number so that I may be blessed!

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On an entirely different note.  If you are going to put yourself out there in the public light – LOOK your best while trying!  I never thought I would say these words, but they are so true especially if you are a woman.  I know life isn’t fair.  Men have it so much easier.  My husband can be showered dressed and out of the house in 15 minutes!  How infuriating is that?!!  I have so many beauty tips that have been researched and proven to work so that you can look amazing.  It won’t come easy, and sometimes not cheap, but looking the part before you get the part IS half the battle!  So, give it a shot!  Getting through that front door is half of the battle, once you get there, then it’s time to step it up and prove that you have earned the right to be there.  WARNING – There will be women who do not and will not follow the girl code of kindness, and having each other’s back!  That jealous Monster will come out of them and they will try to rip you apart.  If your beautiful, you cannot possibly have a brain, right?  WRONG!  In the beginning befriend these gals, be polite, friendly, and show them that they have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.

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Trophy wife?  I think NOT!  Survivor, fighter, believing you can make a difference, loving with all your heart and always paying it forward!

– The Mask of the Doctor’s Wife

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Christmas is coming, and I refuse to get FAT!

Having a hard time getting into the spirit of things this year!  I think this has to do with so much pressure to do so many things that I feel like a pressure cooker!  Am I writing?  Yes, and no.  I am re-writing, re-writing, and re-writing.  When I first signed on to this journey I felt the need to edit every word and to make it SOUND like me.  My ghostwriter being from an entirely different world had a rough time with this.  Her advice was to keep these blogs as much about ME, and my family so that by the time the book comes out perhaps they remember hearing the name.  I thought the idea was good for a different reason, you will “hopefully” be reading her words, but I insist that you hear my voice and remember the reason why the story was so important to tell.

Hereditary blood diseases can be mean a ton of unnecessary surgeries, it can mean huge fatigue, it can mean death, especially if you are unaware that you have one.  My greatest hope is the book empowers people to behave like blood hounds and take the time to get to know your family medical history.  You would not believe how important a through medical history is, and how much money it will save you if you can put it all together.  Some blood tests are not routine, so in order to identify what is going on, you have to dig deeper and get the help of a really good Hematologist!  If it goes on long enough misdiagnosed as it did for me for YEARS (41 to be exact), you are in serious trouble.  Surgeries that would be considered normal and easy to recover from will not be the same for you.  Complications will happen, you will be extremely fatigued, and your mind will start to go COO COO for COCO Puffs on you!  I remember thinking what the hell is wrong with me?  Why, do I feel like this?  Granted in my particular situation, there was some Neurology that needed to be addressed too, but I couldn’t help but wonder would I have gone to such a dark place mentally and emotionally if I simply had some answers?  I really don’t think I would have.  I am a fighter in the ring, and a cheerleader on the side for others.  Giving up has never been an option, and I wasn’t going to start then or now.

You see when you become a Mother at 19 years old, it’s not all about you anymore.  This fact alone has probably saved my life more than anything else.  When you look at those adorable faces you just can’t think about you first anymore.  There will come a time when that can happen, and if you waited until you finished college, worked at a job or knew yourself first maybe you have the upper hand.  I didn’t.  The honest truth is I had no idea who I was.  I had been wearing the mask so long, I let others figure it out for me.  I didn’t trust myself enough, so I always thought everyone else was right.  It wasn’t until everything was revealed to me that I started on the journey of who is Stephanie?  A rebirth occurred that blew my mind and I was so happy it did!  I think my children would agree with this as well!

Happy Carter is coming in the front door and that’s where I want to be, so, maybe we will finish this chat later.  A thought occurred to me at 1:00 a.m., but I could not drag my tail out of bed or sit up to write about it, but I’m going to so look out!  Young, passionate, let’s never wear clothes love, and responsible adult, secure love.  Is it possible to have both?  I think you will be surprised at what I have to say!

– Wearing the mask this week – Stephanie