You can still be a wife, Mother, and employee…The trick is learning when it’s time to just let your body relax.

The above women are strong, powerful, lovely, unique and kind.

Free your mind, listen to these remarkable women

#LetGo  Click the link below!

The above women are strong, powerful, lovely, unique and kind.

Free your mind, listen to these remarkable women.

I hope that you can see this video. I still cannot watch it without crying. So inspirational!

How many of us feel that we are stretched too thin, over stressed, and simply cannot complete being perfection that is required of us women today. How many of us are sleep deprived? How many women do you personally know right now that is trying to accomplish such astronomical goals, that they fear we are losing ourselves?

In this day in technology, women are charged with huge “to do lists”. I would like you to take a minute and write a “what not to do list”. I am in no way suggesting that we give up our power or equality. What I am saying, is that women are still the center of the family. We still want to serve our husbands, and engage with our children. We need to cut back our lists and take time to enjoy the life we are living right now.

Life is so short. Take the time to love yourself, love others, and simply just BE.

#LetGo

ST- aka Mask of the Doctor’s wife

Credit goes to the #LetGo campaign started in the U.K.

 

I want Roscoe P’s life!

All photo's from IP Phone 003

Above is the picture of the greatest dog a girl ever had!  Roscoe P.!  I envy Roscoe and how he happily runs around our yard, and then comes inside for his nap.  I want his life!  Minus being a dog, obviously, but he makes everything look so fun and easy.

Dealing with real life adult life is harder than any horror film you have ever seen.  Are you following me here?  I mean when you are watching the horror movie and the character in the story hears a bad sound coming from the basement.  What person watching isn’t screaming at the T.V., “Don’t go into that basement!  Run girl…RUN!”  Yet, this wouldn’t make a very good horror movie if they just dialed 911.  Am I right?  Life is the same way.  If we don’t face our fears and overcome them then are we living life the life of our dog or simply just bumping around?  Suddenly the horror movie sounds more fun.

There is nothing that I love more than the love of family.  There are great perks to it!

  1.  They pretty much have to LOVE you.  Mine may not like me at times, but I always feel the love.
  2. You will turn into your Mother.  This is something most girls fight, but just wait…It will happen.  In my case this works out great because my Mom is the queen of Prosecco which we have already established that I LOVE.  She is a good time party girl, minus her making me do dishes, but hey it’s a small price to pay.  Believe me I have tried to pay someone else to do it! #loveyourmother
  3. I have a happy, always smiling Daddy that makes a huge hit at our Super Bowl Party every year.  He laughs loudly, enjoys life, and his BIG hugs make this life a better place. #Alwaysdaddysgirl
  4. My Sister is hysterical.  She’s mentally ill, I say this with the most love, and never challenge her to a game of Murder!  (inside joke, sorry)  Pretty much don’t challenge her at anything because she will win!  Her competitive spirit along with her love, and light make our night time phone calls something I always look forward too!  #sisterswillkeepyoursecrets
  5. My Brother.  He is a mess.  You will never know he is because he can keep secrets and somehow always gets out of doing the dishes!  His humor is a bit odd and you never know if he’s really joking or not.  He’ll make comments like, “Mom, I can’t have another beer becuase I’m going to be dropping Acid tomorrow!”  We all laugh, but is he really kidding?  We may never know the truth!  He is awesome with phones and computers which is good because I suck at it, and he will even come over and fix mine if I pester him enough about it. #handycomputerguys

Back to the loveable Roscoe P!  He always wants to be with his Mommy (that’s me) everynight watching a show on a T.V. show he is always snuggled next to me and gets annoyed if I have to get up to go to the bathroom.  It’s a good thing I have Roscoe P., as we all have heard my last teenager is in the home stretch of finishing High School and will soon be in College!  I’m going to need plenty of valium and the love of my dog becuase the thought of this hurts my heart already!  As much as I complain about this job of parenting, I’m really just venting, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Oh, I almost forgot, my husband!  He has mastered the “dog voice” we all use when talking to them or for them, or about them!  In the beginning, he just couldn’t get it down right and was the recipant of many jokes.  Well, he may make it through five more years of the Doctor life until retirement and then I will be in big trouble!  Surely, there will be a race to the mailbox for the American Express bill.  Thank God he loves me.  REALLY, Thank God.  He saved more than my life, he may have just saved my soul. #loveyourhusband

Your dogs love is the best of all!  He may get mad at you for tossing him outside for a portion of the day, but as soon as you give him that treat – it’s ALL GOOD.  Also, your dog doesn’t hold a grudge, and will protect you from the trash collectors he LOVES to bark at!

Xoxo, SCT, mask of the doctor’s wife ❤️

 

 

What you will need while teaching your fifteen year old to drive…..and teenagers growing up!

My youngest son will be sixteen in July, so we decided on buying the Grande Jeep Cherokee early so he could learn on what he would be actually driving.  He has completed the Driver’s Ed class at school and obtained his learners permit on his first try!  This actually is a big deal because out of our five boys total, only two passed the learners exam at the DMV the first time.  If you miss any of the traffic signs, which are first, you are kicked out with a fail!  So, knowing that, this kid was prepared!  He was ecstatic at his success and yes I did make him take the Mom and Son selfie with the pasted test paper!  The DMV in Virginia mails you the actual picture licence in the mail.

We really haven’t taken him on any country roads for practice or any parking lots prior to this!  BAD parents!  However, I’ve heard that my oldest son did let him drive his car a few times, so I had no idea what to expect while teaching him.  Below are the items you will need while attempting to log your son’s practice hours.

1.  A very good, tight, seat belt.

2.  A hold on for dear life bar, jeep’s are great because they have these.

3.  A neck brace.  (If you don’t wear this, you will be put in my position of asking my Doctor for a muscle relaxer, due to the fact that I could not move my NECK)

4.  Post a driving schedule on social media so people know where your going to be driving so they can stay away from that area completely.

5. Let your neighbors know that should all back up their mailboxes about a foot from where they currently are.

6. I’m looking for a flag or a sign that says, “Student driver in training”.  I’m doing this to avoid the terrified stares I’m getting from other drivers.

7. A sedative, or a glass of wine for after the lesson is over.

8. A piece of styrofoam to put under your right foot as your imaginary break to keep yourself from injuring your foot due to the stomping, styrofoam should be good because it has some “give to it”.

9. Try to employ someone else to do it.

10. Try to get your husband, Father, or basically any man you can find.  Men tend to deal with this better.

Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled come October 22nd my son will be able to drive himself, thus eliminating the chauffeur service I usually provide to here, there, and anywhere.  At the same time, I’m TERRIFIED!  This is my last baby behind the wheel of a car.  Any Mother who says she is not worried about her child driving is either highly medicated, or has insanity issues!  It seems like just last week he graduated from middle school to high school.  These milestone’s while important, can make the best Mother cry knowing he is growing up way TOO fast, and even though he sometimes makes me crazy, I cannot even start to imagine him packing his bags for college and leaving me!  It will look something like this –  This is my BABY even though he towers over me at over six feet tall!  Don’t worry, my highly qualified shrink and I are discussing this on a regular basis to prepare me for that day.  Since it is two and a half years away, this might be enough time for me to start in dealing with it.  The picture below is how it would be if I didn’t always demand the two arms hug.  This is a requirement.

Mother And Daughter Hugging Drawing King features mom connie

While on the subject at least, my youngest still does want to hang around Mom, and still does ask what is for dinner 800 times from when he walks in the door from school to when it’s actually served!  My nineteen year old is definitely like this –

Credit for both comic strips go to Zits, they are hysterical and you can check them out at www.cartoonistgroup.com.

In short raising teenagers is hard work.  Their hormones coupled with yours as the Mom are enough to send any sane person into a padded cell for weeks at a time.  I have to remember that this is all normal, and probably payback for the pain in the a** I was to my parents!  They are so sure that they know everything, and by the third one, YOU know everything about what the are going to TRY and get away with and are a bit more savvy in dealing with these situations.  TIP Screaming into a pillow can help your nerves.  Trying to remain calm, cool, and collected with not always prevail, and you might have to resort to such terror tactics like, “If you do not make the honor roll, your cell phone will not make it back into your pocket!”  After all, you are the Mom, the parent, it is your job to protect them, guide them, love them, and raise hell if they screw up too much.  It is not always a popular job, it’s not always fun playing police to curfew times, “friends” of theirs that are not good influences,and making sure you hear their voice instead of letting them get away with always texting.  I firmly believe it is way more important to be around the house if you can while they are going through these years.  So many parents think they need to be there when they are babies and toddlers, and that is true to some while nursing, and forming that bond with your child.  However, if you have to go back to work – at that age is the BEST time.  Save up and become the stay at home Mom, or work at home Mom when they are in High School.  When they are accepted into college, and have made it through these years with minimal scars, they will Thank You for it. Obviously not at the time you are actually doing it, but later in life they will be glad Mom had their back and tried her hardest to lead them into the right direction.

***Sidebar – NEVER hang up the phone without telling them how much you love them.  Text it to them as much as you can.  They may find it annoying now, but later on they will look back at their childhood and know in their fullest heart that their Mom loved them.  You cannot buy the kind of self-esteem it gives them, or the peace of mind it gives you.

This Blog is dedicated to my boys.  I am proud of them all.  This blog is also dedicated to my girlfriends who are great Mom’s, including one’s that took on children that were not their own!

The Mask of the Doctor’s Wife…aka…Mom, and Moma

Another sleepless night, do other writers/authors experience this? ANGRY and truth telling…..

Your mind is racing with your “TO DO” list, so much that you have to drag yourself from a sleepy slumber and just write.  Another such night for me.  I know my husband is a light sleeper, and my tossing and turning will awaken him.  I cannot bere the thought of an innocent person being hurt, because he was deprived of sleep.  So, here I sit, admittedly productively finishing Sunday nights blog.

It actually doesn’t come at to of an inconvenient time considering it needed to be done in the first place.  How engaging is this?  It’s not.  But, wait there’s more…..

Early evening I attempted, once again to get insurance matters, and finances out-of-the-way with the EX for our youngest child.  Money is a difficult thing to discuss as it is, and I have the two most important men in my life squabbling over a few dollars, and payroll deduction versus trusting him to pay us on time. How many women can relate with this?  I would be willing to bet MANY.  How many women would rather forgo money in lieu of harmony and happiness even if the other party wins?  Probably many, as long as you have an equal participant in other aspects.  I do not, unless it includes fun things like sports, etc…Otherwise, every parent/teacher conference, every tutor, every guidance counselor meeting, every doctor’s visit, every part of being a parent is on me. All school fee’s, new outfits, any other money requirement is on me.  When I’m a good girl and I don’t complain, and when I am as accommodating as I can be, all goes well!  The second I question this or suggest another route, usually, I am yelled at.  To the point of tears…(Disclaimer…as of late the babies daddy has significantly improved, but I’m still making a point!)  My wonderful husband who really provides so much for my children, including his time, vacations, and other things, get’s furious!  Why wouldn’t he be?  Okay, so dope head that says he pays medical bills, he says, hey don’t worry it’s all taken care of,he is not worried when the collection notices show up at my home.  This makes my husband furious!  These are our colleagues and friends that are taking care of my children.  The embarrassment of a collection notice coming home is NOT acceptable.  Does carefree, newly single motorcycle guy care? NO. I have an offer on the table for us to take over the inadequate insurance he offers that would save him money, he does agree, but will not agree to having it payroll deduction?  So, the issue is after a long history of not paying the required bills, or even asking for child support, do I fight or give in for the greater good?  I’m not going to get into this fully, because it is addressed in the book and a – GIRLFRIENDS GUIDE OF WHAT NOT TO DO, accompanies this. I always want to keep the peace.  Parents are at peace, so are the children,  Right?  I, personally do not care to engage in such arguments, it’s easier just to pay the bill and move on.  However, my income has been significantly reduced due to time off and finally dealing with my medical issues which are life threatening.  This EX that proclaims he is so understanding of this, is NOT at all.  He has made it clear to me if I go for a payroll deduction (just medical, plus expenses, no child support) he will either flee to another country or sabotage his own career and work at McDonald’s?  He claims this “garnishment” would ruin his upper level executive job?  Okay, let’s think about this upper level executive job for a moment.  Is he working for IBM?  Wall street?  A large financial institution?  NO.  He is working for a Mom and Pop HVAC company.  I am not in any way bashing his accomplishments, but it’s not that big of a deal, and since it will be clearly stated in the court’s order, he would still be able to get this done pre-tax dollars.  So, who wins?  I’m caught in the middle of “Who’s private part is bigger?”, I can tell you that answer without a doubt, not only does the husband Doctor win, but he is right!!  If I am doing all the work, paying all the bills, and this is the minimum he has to put up with – what is the big deal?  What?  Someone please enlighten me.

He has had to pay medical bills, and my attorney’s fee’s in the past.  He has lost at every turn.  Now he states that he has consulted with an attorney that says he can appeal to civil court?  This is crazy talk.  In the state of Virginia, it is a chart.  I make X, you make X, I am the primary custody holder, and the calculation is done!  It is of no relevance what my husband makes, this is his final child to pay for, at 15, I might add, so you are going to work at McDonald’s for three years?  I have already agreed to pay out our youngest son’s full college tuition, which he will be attending directly after high school and you are going to spend thousands, he told me, so this doesn’t happen?  Where is the logic?   (If you have thousands, why not put them in a college fund for the kids?)  Where is the brain of this once smart savvy person I knew?  Where?  To boot at the end of the conversation, which was becoming heated, my children arrived for dinner and I was certain they had heard part of this conversation.  So, I politely say, listen, I don’t agree with your attitude, but I love you and we will work it out.  This makes my baby (15) smile at me as he is headed for the shower before dinner.  This smile is what I LIVE for.  So, a person has to wonder, does being the doormat make you the better person for the greater good?  Or, does this just encourage people to break laws, disabuse trust, and treat others poorly unless they get their way?  What lesson does that teach in the end?

I won’t even go into the remarkable person that my husband is that has NEVER overstepped his boundaries, and despite dealing with this foolishness, just flipped the bill for the entire family vacation to Vail, including my children!  This is the guy you are angry with over $270 dollars payroll deduction for medical?  Really?  He is simply supporting his wife and making the person who says he wants to be the involved parent accountable.  No grudges, no hatred, nothing more.  The only sort of unkind text he sent my EX was to say that he was adolescent in his view of this matter, and the way he would graciously add our son to the insurance was through payroll deduction.  The response he received was it was “none of his business”, and he was only talking about what he had heard and had no real knowledge of the facts?  Are court orders, and collection bills not facts?  Are hearing his wife cry and suffer when she is in no condition to do so, not a reason to step up?  In my thoughts that is what any great man would, and should do.

Again, not wanting to ruin the plot of the book, I suffered tremendously for years at the hands of his live in(aka demon from hell, in the book) girlfriend.  As I have written in previous blogs, as soon as she was shown the front door – all was forgiven.  To quote Carly Simon, “Your so vain”, tells the entire story.  My forgiveness was not for him, and honestly not even for my children.  It was for me.  Carrying around that boulder weighs a person down.  It’s not a life I want to lead.  Forgiveness, sets your heart, mind, body and soul free.  I did it selfishly for me.  Is an apology, I’m sorry I put you through all that too much to ask?  Especially, when you have already admitted that you weren’t your best self at the time?  When he went through all of that – who was by his side?  Who cheered him on and said you CAN do this?  Me.  Did I forget his Birthday?  Nope, gift wrapped and all, from the kids.  Did I not help in furnishing his entire basement for our 19-year-old?  YES AGAIN, I did it all.  Big screen TV, bed, dressers, lamps, night stands, and everything. I did it for our oldest son so I am not asking for cheers and BIG thank you’s.  I’m simply asking for the decent person I once knew to step up, help me out some, participate in SOME of the real parenting that goes into raising fine young men.  That’s all.  Too much to ask for?

In closing, and I truly believe this – paying it forward is the way to live.  There is no greater life without it.  Despite my disease, despite my other medical conditions – I am a fighter and am here to stay.  I really believe in the natural goodness of others.  I really believe in the “girl code” and having each other’s backs.  I also really believe that there are good men out there who know how to treat their wives, girlfriends and women in general with the love and the respect they deserve.  I believe this because leading by example produces great men.  My oldest son is a wonderful caring husband.  My youngest son at the airport saw an older woman struggling with her luggage and without hesitation, turned around and said, “Mam, can I please help you with that?”  Those are the rewards of living a good life.  Those are the rewards of your heart being filled with joy knowing they are practicing what has been taught without being told to do so.  My middle son is getting it.  New gorgeous, smart, blonde haired – hazel eyed girlfriend!  That’s all for now.  Breakfast sandwiches made, Doctor off to the hospital, boy genius off to school – Mom off to bed.

XOXO,

Mask of the Doctor’s wife

I am keeping my promise…..NOT PG 13….R rated….

It’s 3:40 a.m. and I will be shortly snuggled up to that man I love so much, but I alluded to the difference between young love, and mature love and had to write this while still very fresh in my mind, heart, body and soul.

Young love is great, passionate, heart breaking, brutal, but remains sweet until you realize that your just not that person anymore.  Then what?  If you are a normal person (I’m not) you may stick it out hoping for the best, working on doing things better, seeking professional help……or whatever it is that a normal person does.  For me, being an older soul in a younger body, when it’s done, it’s done.  I’m not going to lie and say I wouldn’t test the water again to be 100% certain, but I usually am right.  I’ve done this it’s just to confirm what my soul already knows.  Plus, being a girl of grand illusion, I may build something bigger in my mind than what it truly is, and as I’ve said before, test the water just to be sure.  Ultimately, my gut is usually always right and that door closes quickly once I DECIDE, I’m done.

My husband, my hero, my lover, my hunter, my pro golfer, my EVERYTHING….will always win.  He knows this to be true and really understands me, so I can just relax and be the woman I am now, and the woman I was always meant to be.  This does not happen overnight.  This is what I am referring to when I talk about mature, true love, something that every woman hides deep in her soul, but the right man will eventually see all of it.

Take an evening like tonight.  My youngest love tucked away safely with my oldest love, so I can be free to let me hair down and just move out of Mommy mode, into sexy adult wife mode, which truth be told, is AWESOME.  So, he comes home from hunting, I’ve taken a writing, “ME” day, so when I hear him pull into the garage, my heart starts to beat faster, and I am ready for him.  The one thing I have learned about this amazing man is he prefers the natural me, to the done up me.  This is refreshing girls, if this mans tells you that, you he means it.  You are somewhat of a natural beauty (ok, minus the yearly Botox), so it’s not hard work.  A daily bath/shower, his favorite perfume, a sonic toothbrush, (if you don’t have this….search the internet and get it at a reasonable price, a healthy white smile is gorgeous with no makeup at all)  run your brush through that long hair he loves once – and throw you hair up into a pony tail/bun (he wants to see your face), and throw on your casual jeans, and that t-shirt/long or short depending on weather over that girl next door underwear and matching UNLINED, but under wire bra and you are ready to go.  A little lip gloss, and be the YOU that he loves. He will love being that man who walks into the door to that lazy purring cat that is so comfortable in her own skin.

He suggests taking you out to casual dinner after visiting with a friend or two, you agree knowing he will never make it to the restaurant after the friend’s house, so don’t even worry that you’re not done up enough for this occasion. In my case there is no harm in casual flirting with his friend, because he is only two years younger than your Dad and a married man, so no harm, but great reward for you if you can pull it off.  I  believe that any man, despite age or profession, loves to show off that wife of his.  Yes, a bonus if she is 16 years younger, but every man loves that, and every man is drawn to a woman who is confident and can hold her own.   So, just do it.  Shy girls in the corner even if she is a real knockout will quickly be tossed aside for one that can engage, be smart, funny, and above all else pretend to be really interested in what they have going on.  Ask questions, appear intrigued, and do it knowing your husband is watching.

So, after the friend visit which is only supposed to last 3o minutes, turns into 2 hours and three cocktails, you are ready to reel him in like the fish he catches.  Peanuts with the cocktails, and left over pizza when you come home is a great night and pretty easy on the waist line.  Here comes the R rated version, kids go to bed, turn off the internet, and if I catch you reading this, suddenly my blog will become blocked from your computer.  Besides, what teenager wants to hear about a marriage with a 58-year-old husband?  Hang on to this until your 30’s and you will understand it and appreciate it.  So, back to the evening, nightcap?  Sure.  Just because you are married, doesn’t mean your dead, and this was the topic of conversation at our friends house that made my husband squirm.  Our friend was going on about his important, meaningful work….this just baffles me.  My parents are slowing down, enjoying each other and my Mother seems very happy with that.  Okay, so maybe one could argue that even at our age, it is still too soon to be semi-retired.  However, even those with the busiest schedules, MUST make time for this.   My husband was squirming because we are having fun, we are slowing down, and I am PROUD of that.  He is still trying to compete on the play ground which is just bonkers because every Doctor’s wife knows, especially ones that deal with real life or death trauma, you cannot keep up that pace forever.  So, back to the subject at hand.  Nightcap poured, and it’s time to slip into something more comfortable, our “soft clothes”.  Again, this will not make the Victoria’s Secret catalog, but men who still want that wife bad, will not care.  Women who are smart, will make it look effortless. Toothbrush again, pull the hair down, one swipe with the hairbrush, a tank top or light weight t-shirt (bye to the bra) and PJ pants or weather depending, girly boxer shorts and you are ready.  Notice I say light t-shirt?  I don’t care if you are a size A or a triple D bust this is going to get his attention.  I have always been very affectionate.  Not slutty, but affectionate.  On the couch put your legs over his, or caress his hand, a kiss or two on the neck won’t hurt either…..Let him talk.  You (I) always do, so him sharing something with you, no matter what it is, will be important.  While sipping that nightcap and listening rub leg, entwine your feet, but make physical contact.  In no time long, you will be making out on the couch and racing to get upstairs.  When getting there, not so fast big boy….if he doesn’t do it or he is brushing his teeth whatever, slip that t-shirt off, slip those pj pants off, pretend to be washing your face or whatever….and let him have a good look.  After this is done, you are golden, pull back the sheets and enjoy the ride…….if your not a writer, or trying to be…GO TO SLEEP wrapped up in that man.  If you are, and your husband is 58, he will be snoring in oh, 10 minutes.  Then grab your water, for God’s sake use the boudeau, do what you must and then cuddle in for the sleep in Saturday.  The glow you will have the next day will be more amazing than any skin cream on the market, and he will be attending to your “honey do list” without you even having to ask.  So, when my girlfriends ask what the difference between young love, and mature love?  Mature love is one that grows greater everyday and makes you the happiest woman on Earth.  Goodnight…..

Not wearing the mask to bed, probably not wearing anything…..the lazy slumber morning has benefits, but that is for another chapter. 🙂