It’s 3:40 a.m. and I will be shortly snuggled up to that man I love so much, but I alluded to the difference between young love, and mature love and had to write this while still very fresh in my mind, heart, body and soul.
Young love is great, passionate, heart breaking, brutal, but remains sweet until you realize that your just not that person anymore. Then what? If you are a normal person (I’m not) you may stick it out hoping for the best, working on doing things better, seeking professional help……or whatever it is that a normal person does. For me, being an older soul in a younger body, when it’s done, it’s done. I’m not going to lie and say I wouldn’t test the water again to be 100% certain, but I usually am right. I’ve done this it’s just to confirm what my soul already knows. Plus, being a girl of grand illusion, I may build something bigger in my mind than what it truly is, and as I’ve said before, test the water just to be sure. Ultimately, my gut is usually always right and that door closes quickly once I DECIDE, I’m done.
My husband, my hero, my lover, my hunter, my pro golfer, my EVERYTHING….will always win. He knows this to be true and really understands me, so I can just relax and be the woman I am now, and the woman I was always meant to be. This does not happen overnight. This is what I am referring to when I talk about mature, true love, something that every woman hides deep in her soul, but the right man will eventually see all of it.
Take an evening like tonight. My youngest love tucked away safely with my oldest love, so I can be free to let me hair down and just move out of Mommy mode, into sexy adult wife mode, which truth be told, is AWESOME. So, he comes home from hunting, I’ve taken a writing, “ME” day, so when I hear him pull into the garage, my heart starts to beat faster, and I am ready for him. The one thing I have learned about this amazing man is he prefers the natural me, to the done up me. This is refreshing girls, if this mans tells you that, you he means it. You are somewhat of a natural beauty (ok, minus the yearly Botox), so it’s not hard work. A daily bath/shower, his favorite perfume, a sonic toothbrush, (if you don’t have this….search the internet and get it at a reasonable price, a healthy white smile is gorgeous with no makeup at all) run your brush through that long hair he loves once – and throw you hair up into a pony tail/bun (he wants to see your face), and throw on your casual jeans, and that t-shirt/long or short depending on weather over that girl next door underwear and matching UNLINED, but under wire bra and you are ready to go. A little lip gloss, and be the YOU that he loves. He will love being that man who walks into the door to that lazy purring cat that is so comfortable in her own skin.
He suggests taking you out to casual dinner after visiting with a friend or two, you agree knowing he will never make it to the restaurant after the friend’s house, so don’t even worry that you’re not done up enough for this occasion. In my case there is no harm in casual flirting with his friend, because he is only two years younger than your Dad and a married man, so no harm, but great reward for you if you can pull it off. I believe that any man, despite age or profession, loves to show off that wife of his. Yes, a bonus if she is 16 years younger, but every man loves that, and every man is drawn to a woman who is confident and can hold her own. So, just do it. Shy girls in the corner even if she is a real knockout will quickly be tossed aside for one that can engage, be smart, funny, and above all else pretend to be really interested in what they have going on. Ask questions, appear intrigued, and do it knowing your husband is watching.
So, after the friend visit which is only supposed to last 3o minutes, turns into 2 hours and three cocktails, you are ready to reel him in like the fish he catches. Peanuts with the cocktails, and left over pizza when you come home is a great night and pretty easy on the waist line. Here comes the R rated version, kids go to bed, turn off the internet, and if I catch you reading this, suddenly my blog will become blocked from your computer. Besides, what teenager wants to hear about a marriage with a 58-year-old husband? Hang on to this until your 30’s and you will understand it and appreciate it. So, back to the evening, nightcap? Sure. Just because you are married, doesn’t mean your dead, and this was the topic of conversation at our friends house that made my husband squirm. Our friend was going on about his important, meaningful work….this just baffles me. My parents are slowing down, enjoying each other and my Mother seems very happy with that. Okay, so maybe one could argue that even at our age, it is still too soon to be semi-retired. However, even those with the busiest schedules, MUST make time for this. My husband was squirming because we are having fun, we are slowing down, and I am PROUD of that. He is still trying to compete on the play ground which is just bonkers because every Doctor’s wife knows, especially ones that deal with real life or death trauma, you cannot keep up that pace forever. So, back to the subject at hand. Nightcap poured, and it’s time to slip into something more comfortable, our “soft clothes”. Again, this will not make the Victoria’s Secret catalog, but men who still want that wife bad, will not care. Women who are smart, will make it look effortless. Toothbrush again, pull the hair down, one swipe with the hairbrush, a tank top or light weight t-shirt (bye to the bra) and PJ pants or weather depending, girly boxer shorts and you are ready. Notice I say light t-shirt? I don’t care if you are a size A or a triple D bust this is going to get his attention. I have always been very affectionate. Not slutty, but affectionate. On the couch put your legs over his, or caress his hand, a kiss or two on the neck won’t hurt either…..Let him talk. You (I) always do, so him sharing something with you, no matter what it is, will be important. While sipping that nightcap and listening rub leg, entwine your feet, but make physical contact. In no time long, you will be making out on the couch and racing to get upstairs. When getting there, not so fast big boy….if he doesn’t do it or he is brushing his teeth whatever, slip that t-shirt off, slip those pj pants off, pretend to be washing your face or whatever….and let him have a good look. After this is done, you are golden, pull back the sheets and enjoy the ride…….if your not a writer, or trying to be…GO TO SLEEP wrapped up in that man. If you are, and your husband is 58, he will be snoring in oh, 10 minutes. Then grab your water, for God’s sake use the boudeau, do what you must and then cuddle in for the sleep in Saturday. The glow you will have the next day will be more amazing than any skin cream on the market, and he will be attending to your “honey do list” without you even having to ask. So, when my girlfriends ask what the difference between young love, and mature love? Mature love is one that grows greater everyday and makes you the happiest woman on Earth. Goodnight…..
Not wearing the mask to bed, probably not wearing anything…..the lazy slumber morning has benefits, but that is for another chapter. 🙂