Okay. So, I had already decided I liked the Catholic religion! For ALL the right reasons! Free counseling for one. The confessional, would save me thousands in therapy! (No offense Dr. S) I love to give him $25.00 per week to be able to unload my conscience! However being a Catholic – WOW! You get to unload and be forgiven with some Hail Mary’s! How can this be? Now I am really interested!
The next great thing that Catholics get to do is drink WINE! In fact, you can go to church and still get your buzz on. Now, I am sold! Considering converting from my Southern Baptist background and baptism based on this solely! It does all seem to be too good to be true. Where is the catch?
Starts 40 days from Ash Wednesday. A time of thoughtfulness, reflecting, and giving up something that you desire for this amount of time in order to experience the suffering of Jesus Christ.
So, okay this isn’t so bad, I mean who doesn’t need a little reflection and fasting? It reminds me of a good detox, and most times this is a good thing because you usually loose a few pounds and your skin and hair is very brilliant and shiny. So, what to give up? Hummm…. I could give up that forth work out of the week! I could give up fish, I mean look at all those cars with fish on them? Highly appropriate I think! Then the WORST thing happened.
My BFF, my sounding board, my female partner in crime decides to give up Proseco? How can this be? I mean we are women now having graduated from White Zinfindal (gross, I know – this was our twenties). We then moved on to Chardonnay (yuck again, too oaky for us now), then we became real high society savvy women and went with Pinot Grigio. Nothing is bad about the right Pinot, you will just have an achy belly if you drink too much of it. However, Proseco is AWESOME! It is like the forbidden dry soft drink with a buzz, minus the bad Diet Coke chemicals! Finally, the perfect drink! And now it is lost for 44 days. What to do?
What exactly are the hard core rules of this LENT? Like if you don’t buy it and bring it home or order it out at a restaurant than that should be enough? Am I right? If your BFF shows up with it at your door, well, than I think God would consider it rude not to join your girlfriend. Is this really cheating? I think not! This is what we would consider a loop hole.
I mean how are you supposed to survive with a teenager still at home without the Proseco? It just seems mean. God isn’t mean, he is kind, he loves you, and he forgives you. Am I right? Can’t I just make a donation or something?
Well I will tell you three things for sure –
- I haven’t really decided given this news if I will become Catholic but congrats to those that are.
- Surviving without the BFF and Proseco, will lead to other bad habits for diversion like SHOPPING! This would be an expensive 44 days for me.
- I like my spiritual side, and it gives me plenty of comfort, especially while trying to remain sane and polishing off the last teenager at home! As women of this century we need all the help we can get!
Will I sabatoge my BFF for selfish reasons? NO, well maybe if it was absolutely necessary, but thinking of excuses requires a certain savvy I just haven’t acquired yet. Okay, well maybe I have accomplished this but she is your girlfriend and not a guy. #girlcode. #girlfriend guilt. It’s not worth it. So, with a heavy heart I raise my glass to my friend and say, ” You Go Girl, I support you, and I look forward to seeing you in 44 days”!
Until next time the Mask of the Doctors wife is still considering religion. Catholics have a happy and introspective lent, but please do it quickly so I can get my girl back!