Raw…September 8 & 9 2018 …St.Mary’s Hospital

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Today I had an alert on my Bon Secours patient portal account.  I logged in to see a bill that needed to be paid and continued with that process.  Afterwards, I decided to review the notes on this particular visit to the Emergency room visit.  I can remember my husband taking me to the ER around 10:00 pm on September 8, 2018, for an exacerbation of suprapubic and left lower quadrant pain.  After a CT, and multiple tests we basically confirm that there has been another episode of a belly full of scar tissue due( a knot in my gastrointestinal tract) to multiple surgeries prior to my diagnosis of the bleeding disorder of Von Willebrand’s Disease, or more importantly the late diagnosis thus leaving me without most of my disposable organs, only one half of a left ovary remaining that couldn’t even be seen by the CT.  It’s not life-threatening but it is extremely painful.  It can be controlled most of the time by a good diet, exercise, and stress management.  I had just opened a new business and basically stay on the Keto Diet and probably had indulged in too much red meat.  Depending on your overall health, medication usage and the state of your digestive tract, it takes 24 to 72 hours to fully digest red meat.  This coupled with the IBS in general probably caused this attack.  It will eventually dissipate, it’s just painful, scary, and takes time and rest.  Rest is hard to come by when building something new.  I eventually begged to be discharged around 4:00 am, to go home to my own bed.   I was still hurting badly but for some reason, I just knew I had to go home.

I can’t remember the exact time of the phone ringing.  We had just gotten into bed around 6:00am.  My cousin was calling, and I had several missed calls.  My cousin called again and I just knew it wasn’t good so I answered to hear my sweet cousins voice saying, Stephanie, I’m so sorry about…I dropped off the side of the bed and starting crying and screaming begging her not to tell me that my Brother had died.  Please, I begged, No…No…No…I couldn’t catch my breath, I remember her asking me if Gary was home.  That’s it.  I cannot recall the order of events that led my three grown children, my Sister, and my parents to all arrive at my Brother’s house.  I just remember seeing my Sister and that stained face running towards me as we hugged and cried.  I remember the group hug with my boys and my oldest son that arrived at Brother’s after his late shift at the gym to find Police there and they made him wait outside.  My belly kept growing in pain, my back that had been pain-free for a full year suddenly hurt so bad I couldn’t move.

My husband said we have to go back to the ER.  It’s getting worse……..The FOLLOWING are the notes I read on my chart that shocked me…Edited to protect the staff and their names…

ALLERGIES: Nsaids (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug)
Von Willebrands Disease
Review of SystemsGastrointestinal: Positive for abdominal pain. Negative for diarrhea,
nausea and vomiting.
Genitourinary: Positive for difficulty urinating.
Irregular heartbeat, tachycardia tremor
Vitals:

09/09/18 1310
BP:
(!) 159/94
Pulse:
(!) 114
Resp:
20
Temp:
98 °F (36.7 °C)
SpO2:
99%

MDM
Number of Diagnoses or Management Options
Diagnosis management comments: Impression: 46 year female presenting
to the emergency department with a re\re exacerbation of suprapubic and
left lower quadrant abdominal pain. Seen here last night, CT scan
revealed no acute findings, possible IBS, multiple surgeries, scar tissue. Nor did
any of the laboratory analysis. She did have mild urinary retention. History of herniated discs, husband tells Dr. she hasn’t suffered from back pain since pt went off pain med.
The patient this morning received news that her younger brother had
unexpectedly died. She returns now with continued symptoms.

Differential includes urinary retention.

Plan of care we repeat labs will hold off on CT scan we’ll do Foley
catheter treat symptomatically likely for
relief. This may be all secondary to adhesions as well.

ED Course

Procedures

PROGRESS NOTE:2:19 PM
Provider updated patient and patient’s family on results.

3:59 PMChange of shift. Care of patient signed over to Dr.
Handoff complete.

Addendum RN 9/9/2018 2:02 PM

1320: Patient in room from triage, hooked up to BP/SPO2 monitor,
husband at bedside. Patient crying in room, husband requesting pain
medication, assigned MD notified. Labs drawn, Line patent. Patient
crying and twitching during blood draw, states IV site hurts asked
patient if she wanted a new IV at this time, no answer received.  Pt unresponsive, husband, physician, speaks of her history, speaks for pt. she cannot verbalize what is happening.  Physical sympt returned due to trauma.  PTSD.

1327: Primary RN and MD at bedside.

1345: Two RNs present during catheterization for sterility. Patient
c/o pain, convulsing in bed, holding breath and crying during
medication administration via IV. Line flushing, blood returned
achieved. Offered to pull IV and start new line, patient now agreeable
to new IV. Patient HR on SPO2 reading 30s, patient bearing down and
holding breath, cardiac monitor applied. Patient HR low 100s on
monitor.  MD notified, orders
received.

Addendum to RN:

1345: Two RNs present during catheterization for sterility. Patient
c/o pain, convulsing in bed, holding breath and crying during
medication administration via IV. Line flushing, blood returned
achieved. Offered to pull IV and start new line, patient now
agreeable. Patient HR on SPO2 reading 30s, patient bearing down and
holding breath, cardiac monitor applied. Patient c/o back pain, history of the herniated discs, sciatica.  MD notified orders
received.

RN 9/9/2018 1:30 PM

1320: Patient in room from triage, hooked up to BP/SPO2 monitor,
husband at bedside. Patient crying in room, husband requesting pain
medication, assigned MD notified. Labs drawn, Line patent.

1327: Primary RN and MD at bedside.

Patient in room from triage, hooked up to BP/SPO2 monitor,
husband at bedside. Patient crying in room, husband requesting pain
medication, assigned MD notified. Labs draw, patient crying during
procedure. Line patent.

1327: Primary RN and MD at bedside.

Addendum to note by  RN 9/9/2018 1:08 PM

Pt was seen here last night for LLQ and pain, CT and labs are done, CT showed
the sigmoid colon. Also had urinary retention and had a cath done
for this. Pt had moderate relief after last evenings treatment the
and swelling was going down. Pt was discharged and during the night pt
received a phone call that her younger brother died and is having same
and pain and distention again. Denies nausea and vomiting. Pt crying in triage.

I really don’t remember most of this. I remember many nurses, and several Doctor’s trying to talk to me and rushing in and out of the room.  I think one nurse was always present. I only remember wishing that it had been me that had died.  My Brother was so beloved, sweet, kind, good, and he loved me.  I remember praying to God, please bring him back and take me instead.  I almost died in this hospital in 2011.  I am the older Sister by eight years, this is not the natural order things are supposed to happen.  They gave me pain medication but my heart and gut are still screaming.  Dear God, please take me.  My Brother is so good, and my niece…OMG, what about her?  Then, slowly I felt a shift of calm.  I can feel him here with me.  This is real, I can’t fix this.  Ok, Steph, fight, fight for Mom, Dad, and everyone that depends on you.  Fight.

 

Pray for those that are hurt, love your friends, it is that simple.  Dedicated to Anne Moss Rogers – 

If I could do anything to take away the horrific pain of my friend, I would!  She is a charismatic, lovely, and wonderful friend.  She lost her son Charles to suicide.  He hung himself.  After a long road of mental illness, that lead to addiction – he wanted out of the pain so greatly that not even his Mothers love could save him.

When most others hear this story they are afraid for their children, they are moved to join her and make a difference by simply joining the fight of a conversation.

Will you join her in her fight of the conversation that no one really wants to have?  Are you strong enough to say, no more!
We are losing the battle against drugs of our youth. We need more self awareness, we need to make ourselves with armour of steel and awareness! Wake up! I know you have it in you. Join or contibutute to https://www.facebook.com/BeaconTreeFoundation/

Take that first painful step and make a difference. Do it for your children, your neighbor, or for a friend of a friend. Do it because it feels right.

It will not disappoint. 😇

Will you join the fight or simply continue to stumble around in the comfort of the darkness? Check out Anne Moss Rogers blog at http://www.annemoss.com!

For Anne Moss, you are not only my friend but know my conscience. I hope this post helps your cause some, and makes you happy that there are others willing to speak out, who are not afraid of the stigma our society places on these issues instead of the true awareness and compassion it deserves. Mostly, I hope it makes you smile. Fair weather friends come and go. Trust in the ones that stay no matter how uncomfortable it gets.❤️

xoxo, Stephanie Taylor, mask of the Doctors wife…

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Let’s talk about it!

I am humbly coming before you to talk about a taboo subject.

TEEN/YOUNG ADULT SUICIDE

This may appear as if  I have had “mudd on my face”.  On this very blog I have discussed the short cut of suicide, and how I felt it was selfish.  Wow.  Am I the biggest hypercritical person to head this conversation.  I thought people who did this were selfish, and wanted an easy way out without thinking about the loved ones left behind.

I was wrong.  I have a survivor mentality that could not understand giving up life due to my personal struggles, and my ability to overcome.  I never really understood people with active depression.  I haven’t.  I have always had someone to lift me up, someone to love me without judgement, someone who would stop whatever they were doing to simply LOVE me through it.  Not everyone is so lucky.  Not everyone has such inner strength.  I am now ready to admit, not everyone, even with the best support can still overcome adversity the way I did.  The only reason I can give is my children.  I had to be a Mother, I had to take care of them.  Not everyone is so lucky.

So, let’s talk.  Let’s have the conversation.  One of my best friends, recorded this –http://www.annemoss.com/2016/02/22/suicide-the-silent-serial-killer/

It seems to be the most humbling experience of my life.  I guess I have become so immune knowing medicine would eventually intervene?  It is almost impossible to be neutral because I was thinking we had a great healthcare system!  Boy was I wrong.   Did you know that if you go to the ER in a suicidal state a social worker will decide if you are serious or not?  They have to display a detailed plan and several other things to be taken seriously.  If they can’t?  Guess what they are discharged with a reccomendation to follow up with a psychologist.  Any guess how long that will take?  Usually three to four weeks.

Our system is broken, and it is up to us to fix it!  Let’s please all take a moment to “put our thinking caps on” and help put a stop to this needless loss of life.

-I was definitely wearing the mask!   So, bravely, it is off – Stephanie Carter Taylor