Life is for the living…

Take the time to smell the flowers.

Welcome Scan

Two months and five days ago my families world stopped.  Yet, beautiful memories remain, and life slowly moves you forward.

This is hard stuff, we want desperately to go back, to watch the video memories.  So, if it’s one of those days that you just need peace, watch the video but keep facing forward.

Some on Corey’s greatest hits!

This is the Corey I know

The sunlight feels good again, and getting out and JUST doing what you can every day is the only way through it.  You just are, and you just must do it.  It’s the only way to rejoin the living and smell some flowers along the way.

I have learned it’s important to just let the waves of grief come, that freight train is probably still coming around for a while.  Then something odd happens, it’s not so bad, in some ways it has taught a valuable lesson.

Romans 8:28

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

My Brother is a beloved angel, and I now feel it’s okay to move on some.  He is with me in spirit, and he would want to see me living my life.  Easier said than done, however, we are all trying, hoping, and embracing positive change and unconditional love.  This is how it is written and at one point in my life, I believed God was no longer listening to me.  Time to change my tactics and instead of speaking, I am listening.  Listening with true intention.  This is a game changer.

My husband and I leave on a long-awaited vacation early tomorrow morning.  With any luck, I’ll be laying on the beach in the sun by 2:00pm.  We have both crawled, limped, and added crutches to get to this point.  We need time alone together, the to-do list needs to stop, we just need to LIVE and not worry about if the tears will come, just accept that they will, and then move on to the early morning Bloody Mary.  There is a God.

I would like to thank my countless girlfriends for holding me up.  I would like to Thank Anne Moss, Donna, Nikki, Wendi, Nichole, Katie and many other family members for listening to my GUT cry, without knowing how to help me put together my heart again.  My parents always prove to be so strong.  I was grateful for this but mourned for them anyway.  Sometimes the act of doing helps when there is nothing else to change an impossible situation.  Thank you, Jennifer, for reminding me that God is listening and helping me turn down the chaos and noise inside my head.  That was truly a remarkable gift, I think it’s what saved me.  Thank you to everyone else who dragged me along and refused to accept NO as my answer.

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This is US.  My loving husband has carried me a long way.  Our time together has become like a valuable commodity, this is my BIG takeaway, my big gift – finally time alone together.  I can already feel the sand on my feet, and the neverending love in my heart.  It grows more with every passing day.  #marryakeeper

When to tell your ghost writer to STFU? Probably never, but then you don’t know me.

I have said on multiple different occasions, I am not a writer.  I am an Author/Publisher/Small Marketing Business Owner for Physicians.  I’m old school, and came from the world of print, and the social media world is forever evolving and somewhat complicated, if you couldn’t already tell – this is what I used to pay people for!  Now, with taking the year or three off to write the book, and for her to re-write I am responsible for five social media sites, and this blog.  I understand I was given a retainer and maybe I should just pay someone to do this for me.  However, I do have a publishing house, and I can read, so given those facts I thought – EASY!  WRONG!

This book is personal, it a journey to help people investigate their family tree and develop a medical tree to see if they are pre-disposed genetically to serious illnesses, disease, and even addictions.  Without this valuable information, you could end up like me, fighting for your life and even death.  If I were not married to a doctor who recognized the symptoms the moment he walked in the door of our home, I would have been a GONER.  I got lucky, and I really believe God, and my departed beloved maternal grandmother is my guardian angel.

The book is also about perusing your dreams and just going for it despite the haters, and naysayers!  If you have not failed a few times, or in my case, a TON of times than you haven’t really tried and put yourself out there.  You will never know what you can achieve until you try, try again, and try again.  My advice is – Don’t be one of those people who is afraid to screw up!  Do you know anyone that is perfect?  I don’t.  Do you know anyone that walks around with a real halo of God above their head?  If you do – please give them my number so that I may be blessed!

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On an entirely different note.  If you are going to put yourself out there in the public light – LOOK your best while trying!  I never thought I would say these words, but they are so true especially if you are a woman.  I know life isn’t fair.  Men have it so much easier.  My husband can be showered dressed and out of the house in 15 minutes!  How infuriating is that?!!  I have so many beauty tips that have been researched and proven to work so that you can look amazing.  It won’t come easy, and sometimes not cheap, but looking the part before you get the part IS half the battle!  So, give it a shot!  Getting through that front door is half of the battle, once you get there, then it’s time to step it up and prove that you have earned the right to be there.  WARNING – There will be women who do not and will not follow the girl code of kindness, and having each other’s back!  That jealous Monster will come out of them and they will try to rip you apart.  If your beautiful, you cannot possibly have a brain, right?  WRONG!  In the beginning befriend these gals, be polite, friendly, and show them that they have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.

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Trophy wife?  I think NOT!  Survivor, fighter, believing you can make a difference, loving with all your heart and always paying it forward!

– The Mask of the Doctor’s Wife

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Christmas is coming, and I refuse to get FAT!

Having a hard time getting into the spirit of things this year!  I think this has to do with so much pressure to do so many things that I feel like a pressure cooker!  Am I writing?  Yes, and no.  I am re-writing, re-writing, and re-writing.  When I first signed on to this journey I felt the need to edit every word and to make it SOUND like me.  My ghostwriter being from an entirely different world had a rough time with this.  Her advice was to keep these blogs as much about ME, and my family so that by the time the book comes out perhaps they remember hearing the name.  I thought the idea was good for a different reason, you will “hopefully” be reading her words, but I insist that you hear my voice and remember the reason why the story was so important to tell.

Hereditary blood diseases can be mean a ton of unnecessary surgeries, it can mean huge fatigue, it can mean death, especially if you are unaware that you have one.  My greatest hope is the book empowers people to behave like blood hounds and take the time to get to know your family medical history.  You would not believe how important a through medical history is, and how much money it will save you if you can put it all together.  Some blood tests are not routine, so in order to identify what is going on, you have to dig deeper and get the help of a really good Hematologist!  If it goes on long enough misdiagnosed as it did for me for YEARS (41 to be exact), you are in serious trouble.  Surgeries that would be considered normal and easy to recover from will not be the same for you.  Complications will happen, you will be extremely fatigued, and your mind will start to go COO COO for COCO Puffs on you!  I remember thinking what the hell is wrong with me?  Why, do I feel like this?  Granted in my particular situation, there was some Neurology that needed to be addressed too, but I couldn’t help but wonder would I have gone to such a dark place mentally and emotionally if I simply had some answers?  I really don’t think I would have.  I am a fighter in the ring, and a cheerleader on the side for others.  Giving up has never been an option, and I wasn’t going to start then or now.

You see when you become a Mother at 19 years old, it’s not all about you anymore.  This fact alone has probably saved my life more than anything else.  When you look at those adorable faces you just can’t think about you first anymore.  There will come a time when that can happen, and if you waited until you finished college, worked at a job or knew yourself first maybe you have the upper hand.  I didn’t.  The honest truth is I had no idea who I was.  I had been wearing the mask so long, I let others figure it out for me.  I didn’t trust myself enough, so I always thought everyone else was right.  It wasn’t until everything was revealed to me that I started on the journey of who is Stephanie?  A rebirth occurred that blew my mind and I was so happy it did!  I think my children would agree with this as well!

Happy Carter is coming in the front door and that’s where I want to be, so, maybe we will finish this chat later.  A thought occurred to me at 1:00 a.m., but I could not drag my tail out of bed or sit up to write about it, but I’m going to so look out!  Young, passionate, let’s never wear clothes love, and responsible adult, secure love.  Is it possible to have both?  I think you will be surprised at what I have to say!

– Wearing the mask this week – Stephanie